My Village

We've all heard about it taking a village to raise a child, and I know there is talk amongst many that we don't have a "village" mentality anymore. Tonight I'm thinking about the fact that I DO have a village helping me to raise my son. This post will celebrate that network of support.

First, the back story:

Yesterday we got a call that Kaleb's day care was closing and we could come in today from 3-6 to collect his belongings. That was the extent of our forewarning, over 40 children displaced as well as an entire staff of talented, dedicated, caring teachers. No opportunity for teachers to say good bye to kids they have been building relationships with for months and years, no opportunity for kids to say good bye to buddies they have been in care with since they were infants. It was a devastating shock to the families as well as to the teachers, and left parents scrambling for care while teachers sought to replace employment. I could fill an entire post with just my rantings over the unprofessional conduct of the owner, but my thoughts are taking a different slant tonight.

Kyle had already booked his flight to Mississippi for work, what is to be his final week of travel before we move to our new day care and he takes over morning drop-off. So, this week of needing to find care for Kaleb while still trying to meet my commitments at work was on me. Frank and Annette are visiting Kari, JB, and Avery for an extended stay so they can benefit from bonding with Avery. On a side note: what an awesome opportunity for both them and Avery! I love the bond they have with Kaleb and am happy they get to build the same thing with his cousin :)

As I began to piece together my care schedule for the week, I realized just how extensive my support network really is.

First, my family. Kaleb was able to spend some quality time with Grandpa Bashlor this morning, since my dad works 2nd shift and he instantly volunteered to take Kaleb when I called. My sister, Laura, also offered to help me take care of Kaleb, before I could even ask. She got excited and said she was happy for the chance for Kaleb and his cousins to spend time playing together this week. My mom offered to take time off work, and is going to spend Wednesday afternoon with Kaleb. My sister, Kerry, texted me when she saw the news on Facebook and volunteered to watch Kaleb on her only day off of work this week, without my even asking. My sister, Allison, saw the news and sent me a text offering to help with care. I'm so touched by the outpouring of support, without my even having to ask, from my family. They all have busy lives and yet every one of them was willing to drop and/or rearrange their plans to help us out.

Next, Kaleb's amazing teachers over the years at Kid's World. The owner is the one to blame in all this, the teachers are victims just as much as the parents. Kaleb has had many great influences in his life through those teachers. Specifically, Miss Angie, Miss Elizabeth, and Miss Megan. Miss Angie was Kaleb's teacher when he was just an infant, and he bonded with her so strongly. She was wonderful to him, helped him grow so much, and took an active role in keeping me involved in his daily development. Her role in his daily growth, and the open and caring way she shared his progress with me every day did wonders for my confidence as a working mother! Miss Elizabeth spent a lot of time with Kaleb when he was 1, he loved her so much and called her Miss Bissie. She was a great influence on him as he built the foundation of knowledge and skill he would need as a toddler. I looked forward to her supportive and encouraging reports on his progress every day! Finally, Miss Megan, Kaleb's most recent teacher. I don't know how to put into words the impact Miss Megan has had in his life, and mine. She was positive and patient with Kaleb as he entered the toddler years. Even on his hardest, most challenging days, Miss Megan always had something positive to share. She was the epitome of Positive Discipline and I learned a LOT from watching the way she interacted with my 2 year old! There were many other good teachers in Kaleb's life, but these three will always stand out, and for sure were an integral part of my village.

Then, my friends. The people in my life who have lent encouragement and support, not just in this situation, but over the past years while I struggled through figuring out what it means to be a working mother. I have had conversations, laughs, tears, hugs, and high fives from all over the place over these years and I'm so thankful for the support I find in the people I am lucky to call my friends.

I also consider my employer as a part of my village. I work for a company with a firm base of valuing family and work/life balance. I have flexibility in my schedule, so much so that the stress of needing to juggle a week of no day care, no spouse, and a full week of work wasn't so much stress as it was a need to consider "How can I best juggle work and home?" I know I am blessed to be in this position, to work for a boss who values my contributions and who understands that there is life outside of work. The first person I talked to when I arrived to work this morning was my boss, and the first thing out of her mouth was "How are you coping?" not "How are you going to make sure you don't miss any work". I have the privilege of reporting to an understanding and empathetic person. She is a big part of why I didn't lose much sleep last night over trying to figure out how I'd make things work this week. And she is one of many members of leadership within my organization who treat people as people, not just assets. Not once yesterday did I feel an ounce of fear that I wasn't going to be able to find a scheduling solution for the week. That speaks volumes for the value of my employer as part of my village.

I bet if I sat and put more thought I would find even more evidence of my village. But for now it is time to put my little guy to bed. I will wrap by saying that my network of support came through for me and I am feeling very thankful and extremely blessed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chaaaaanges

We turned in the two week notice to Kaleb's current day care last week, he has this week and next then he is moving to the Appletree Christian Learning Center that is 2 minutes away from our home. This afternoon we took a family tour of the new center (I had visited/toured already on my own).

I'd done my research before and know a number of families from my work who have their children enrolled in various Appletree centers and they are all happy and content. I've had a lot of communication with the assistant director and she has been helpful, kind, and great at assuring me that they know this is a transition for Kaleb and they are going to be working to help him work through it.

Seeing him today on the tour, you'd never guess he hasn't been playing in that room forever! He was buzzing all over, saying "Hi!" to the other kids, checking out the toys, and seeming pretty much okay with things. Of course, I'm sure it will be a bit different when it isn't a visit with us and it is actually spending the day there. But watching him today helped me feel better about this change.

The hardest part is saying goodbye to our favorite teacher at his current center, Miss Megan. She's amazing. Kaleb loves her, she has done great things for and with him, and she and I have developed a really solid relationship as Mom and Teacher of this wonderful little guy. I knew that talking about this move to Miss Megan was going to be the hardest part on me, I finally had a chance to catch up with her today (she's been out sick for a bit) and there were tears. I think it's a testament to the depth of the relationship that she's built with my son that she very seriously stated that we will exchange contact information and arrange for a play date so she can still see him. I'm getting emotional just typing this, I really wish there was a way to take her with us!

Not sure if I already posted about this, but Kaleb sleeps in a big boy bed now! We took the side off his crib (it is convertible) last Saturday and he has taken to sleeping in the big boy bed with zero issue so far. At night, I can barely finish the last sentence in his final bed time story before he is scrambling off my lap to go climb in his bed :) He is very proud of himself that he can climb into and out of his bed by himself.

Amazing things going on in his world, such a smart and adaptable boy. I know I say it all the time, but I really really am SO proud of him!

Finally an update

So much to update! Kaleb's 2nd birthday was wonderful. We had a party for him at Chuck E Cheese with his cousins and my family. Frank and Annette were visiting Alysa and Anders in Maine at the time, but we celebrated with them before they left. We did cake and another gift on his actual bday, I made him mini cupcakes which he loved :)

As of Kaleb's 2 year mark he was counting to 14 (he hit 10 at about 21 months), singing his ABC's as of 22 months, knows all his shapes and colors, and is reliably saying please and thank you. He speaks in full sentences and generates his own unique thoughts, which is amazing and hilarious at times. He runs, jumps, climbs, stacks, colors, and all the other major physical milestones. At his 2 year check up he was 35 inches tall and weighed 28.8 pounds. Based on this the doctor estimates he will be 6 feet tall as an adult.

Aside from the standard milestones, the developments that most impress me and warm my heart are the signs of emotional intelligence I already see blooming in Kaleb. When someone yawns he'll ask if they are sleepy and need some rest, if I cough he asks if I"m okay. He is a chocolate fanatic which makes sense given my insatiable need for brownies, which I never crave, while I was pregnant with him. I let him have mini-snickers probably once every 3ish days on average, those things are really small! But when he has his coveted treat he will take a bite, and then offer some to me. What a kind little dude!! He seems to be in tune to the well being of others around him and I am really enjoying watching that side of him develop.

Christmas was beautiful this year, our family traditions continue to be honed and developed and it makes me warm and fuzzy to think that I get to establish traditions for my own little family. We do Christmas Eve with the Bashlor side, Christmas morning is with our family, and then after nap on Christmas Day we head over to celebrate with the Remsburgs. Kari, JB, and Avery came up this year for Christmas and stayed the week after so we had plenty of fun spending time with them. I had the week between Christmas and New Year off this year and Kyle had most of it off as well, we took full advantage of all our family time together. It was a really great holiday season, with Kaleb old enough now to understand some of what is going on. Next year will be awesome, Kaleb will be old enough to anticipate the excitement and he'll have an 8 month old little brother to share it all with!

Next year I'll be adding a new tradition at home, and I'm super excited about it! I will take all of our Christmas books and wrap each one individually, then place them all in a box or bucket near the Christmas tree. Starting Dec. 1st, each night the kids will get to pull one wrapped book out, unwrap it, and that will be our Christmas bedtime story for the night. Thanks to a very generous gift of books from my parents this year, and my already somewhat overboard book habit, we already have more than enough books to do this :)