The Waiting Game

So, today is one day past my due date and no baby to report yet. Not even any labor so far. Most women seem to be miserable and begging for the pregnancy to end at this point, me, not so much. I started my maternity leave from work as of 12/1, last week Tuesday. Not being at work has made things waaaaay better as far as I'm concerned. I've kept myself busy with doctor appointments, grocery shopping to stock the house up for once Kaleb is here (yes, we named him Kaleb Eugene :), I don't think I've put that in here yet), doing last minute stuff in the nursery, babysitting Analyn a couple times to Laura could get stuff done, snuggling with Loki, reading to my heart's content, and enjoying time spent with just Kyle and I during these last few days of peace and quiet before our world is turned upside down with caring for and falling in love with a newborn.
The last few weeks of work got to be pretty rough, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Obviously I was a tad distracted with thoughts of Kaleb so it made it hard to focus on anything. But the worst part was the, albeit well-meaning, constant comments from everyone I work with. Being in an office with hundreds of people meant I interacted with lots of people all day every day. And everyone felt the need to share their thoughts whenever they would see me. Thoughts like "Holy cow! You're as big as a house!" or "You haven't had that baby yet?!?!" (when I still had a month or more to go) or "Geez, you're HUGE! You'll never make it to your due date" or the incredulous "You're still here?!!" And many other variations on the above. I know people all meant well, and no one was trying to be offensive or mean at all, people just want to comment and talk about a pregnancy because its exciting. But I think people would do well to stop and consider how what they are saying is being received, something that should apply every time we open our mouths to speak, ya know? To a person who is 9 months pregnant, being told she is as big as a house just isn't all that encouraging, even if it is totally true! Towards the end it was getting harder and harder to smile and laugh with people, I would honestly get at least 10+ comments like the above a day. It got to the point where I didn't want to leave my desk because I didn't have the patience to "run the gauntlet" as I started calling it. haha! It did become a great learning experience for myself and the people I work closely with. We are now very aware of what we say to pregnant women with whom we are acquaintances (sp?), and that it should always only be encouraging and kind!
Last week I was scheduled for my regular check-up and got a call that we had to reschedule me because Dr. Harro (my family doctor since I was 5) was out of the office. When I did finally make it in to see him I learned that he had a slipped disc/pinched nerve in his shoulder or back and was going to need surgery! The surgery was last Friday, everything went really well and he is currently recovering. But there is a good chance that if I go into labor anytime before next weekend I won't be able to have Dr. Harro deliver my baby :( I'm definitely sad about that one! I know everything will be fine, there are plenty of other great doctors in that practice, but I've had Dr. Harro as my doctor from the start of this pregnancy, and I would really be comforted and feel a million times better if he is the one there when it's time to push, not some stranger! I saw one of his partners for my check-up this week, and I guess Dr. Harro told her to ask me to hang on, that he was recovering as fast as he could and he really wanted to be the one to deliver Kaleb. We'll see how that plays out! So far, Kaleb seems to be fine with staying in mommmy's tummy for a while longer, and, while I'm waaay excited to meet him, I'm perfectly comfortable, so if he wants to hang out in there for a bit longer I suppose that's okay with me.
Kyle seems to think I'll be going into labor any minute now. We are in the middle of the "Blizzard of 2009" (as it is being called by meteorologists across the country). The news is going crazy with reports of snowing, blowing, drifting, and whiteout conditions all the way from Arizona to here. Schools have been closed for days, the news people are telling us not to be on the roads unless it is absolutely necessary. Kyle says that, when we found out this summer that our due date was actually December instead of January, he had a feeling even then that we'd be driving to the hospital during a huge snow storm. If he's right then Kaleb should be coming any day now!
For now, the nursery is ready, the house is set for him to come home. The family and friends are all anxiously awaiting that call from us telling them "it's time!" and we are just waiting for Kaleb to decide it's time for his grand entrance. Mommy is ready and just waiting for that first official contraction. Plenty of Braxton-Hicks so far, and they are getting more and more intense. I've finally got my treadmill here in the basement and have been logging 3-4 miles a day, as walking is supposed to help bring on labor. Aunt Kerry let me borrow her yoga ball, so I've been sitting, bouncing, and rocking on that, and have been eating some spicy foods since they say that may spur contractions as well. Daddy is so excited for Kaleb to get here! When we are sitting together on the couch, everytime I move and make a sound (which seems to be a requirement for moving these days!) he looks at me with that question of "is it time?!?" on his face. He's got the route to the hospital all mapped out, the bags packed, and he is ready to get this show on the road :)
No matter what, Kaleb will be here by Christmas Eve. My doctor won't let me go more than 2 weeks past my due date, which puts us at 12/24. I kind of hope it is sooner than that since we have family coming in to town for Christmas and they will all want to meet him, and I'd like to have at least a few days to recover from delivery before trying to go out and celebrate holidays. But, as I said, it is all up to Mr. Kaleb and whatever he decides will be just fine with me! Who knows when I'll get to post again, so for now just know that Kyle and I are quite possibly the most excited new parents you'll ever meet, that I am already head over heels in love with this little guy and I can't begin to imagine how much more intense this feeling is going to be once I actually get to meet him, that there are tons of people anxiously awaiting this birth, and that we can't wait to meet Kaleb Eugene Remsburg!!!

It's a BOY!!!

haha! I guess I never did post about that...we've known for a month now, but in all the excitement I forgot about this blog, so the update is a bit late.
We had our ultrasound appointment where they would be able to tell us the sex of the baby scheduled for August 6, Kyle's birthday :) I was SO anxious by the time that appointment finally got here that I had a mini breakdown on my way there because I couldn't find the right parking lot. Poor Kyle had to deal with me freaking out and starting to cry because I was so frustrated and tired and worked up and just wound for this appointment. Naturally, he was a pro and just talked me through the directions until I found the place. He's going to be the BEST daddy in the world!!!
So, in the weeks leading up to the ultrasound, I had started having dreams about my baby, and in all the dreams the baby was a boy. Outside of these dreams I didn't really have any intuitions about whether baby was a girl or a boy, and we didn't have a preference. I just wanted to find out, and the wait was killing me. I got to the point where I was having a hard time focusing at work in the week leading up to the appointment, I wasn't sleeping well. Everyone kept wanting to tell me their horror stories about being told they were having a boy and then it turned out to be a girl, or going in for the ultrasound and the nurse not being able to get a good enough shot of the baby to tell whether it was boy or girl. My mind was spinning and I just really really REALLY wanted the appointment to get here and to be able to find out.
And, having had the dreams that it was a boy, I as getting anxious to find out. For some reason I was thinking I was going to have a guilt complex if it turned out to be a girl, because I had been dreaming about a boy, and even though I really didn't care whether it was a boy or a girl, I kept thinking that if it was a girl I'd feel all terrible for having dreamt about a boy instead of about my girl...yes, I realize this is crazy.
And then, finally, the day of the appointment arrived, and (after the parking drama) Kyle and I were finally there sitting in the waiting rooom for our turn. Naturally, they were running late so we had to wait an extra 45 minutes (and, yes, my bladder was full and it was uncomfortable) but the moment arrived and it was our turn. We went back to the room, I laid on the table and Kyle sat next to me. We waited for the nurse to get the goop on my belly and get the machine set up. And the first image we see is proof beyond all doubt that this is for sure a boy! What an awesome feeling. I just had this major relief that we were able to see what we were having, no more waiting and wondering. I held Kyle's hand and the tears just streamed down my face. I had been so anxious to know, and all worried about the dreams, and tired from not sleeping and it was just such a sense of "ahhh, finally!" hard to explain, but a truly wonderful moment! The rest of the ultrasound went well, Baby was really active so it was hard to get some of the pictures. But, we were able to see both kidneys, all 4 chambers of the heart, the hands and feet, and got a great picture of his little profile. Kyle was most proud of the picture that proved we were having a boy...typical guy! He was actually so excited about it that he had us stop in the lobby on the way out so he could take a picture of the ultrasound printout with his cell phone and send that pic to his work buddies. Awwww, the proud papa :)

27 Weeks!

This Thursday will mark 27 weeks, which leaves me only one week until I officially enter that 3rd trimester...unbelievable! When I think back to just one year ago today, I was putting the finishing touches on my wedding plans, scrambling around to get the details of the reception tied up and getting ready to start my marriage with Kyle. Now, here I am, almost a full year into that marriage and preparing for yet another of life's grand adventures :)
We are working through the Great Name Hunt right now, finding it much easier to come up with the list of names we don't want, but I'd guess that's pretty normal. I'm confident we'll come up with the perfect name for our little guy!
Baby is moving and shaking in there! Kyle was finally able to feel the movement this weekend, it was the best look on his face when he realized what he was feeling under his hand :) Over the past few weeks Baby has developed a habit of moving around quite a bit in the mornings (between 9 and 11), the afternoons (from about 1 to 3) and then seemingly nonstop at night, from about 8:00 all the way through the night. I'll wake up sometimes at night and just be able to lay there and feel him kicking, punching, flipping, and whatever else he has going on in there.
Last night I woke up during the middle of the night and it just hit me out of nowhere "I'm going to have a baby in this house in just a few months!" This is just such a major thing, sometimes I lose sight of just how "big" this is because I'm so excited about everything. I'm working hard to appreciate and enjoy these last few months of "couple time" for Kyle and I, everyone I talk to says to make the most of this time. I try to make sure we have at least one lazy morning each weekend together. I usually wake up before him on the weekends, so I use the time to read my book and enjoy the silence. I make breakfast so that the smells wake him up (although he does tend to wake up as soon as he hears the dishes moving around in the kitchen!) and then we eat a lazy breakfast together and just hang on the couch for an hour or so watching some silly movie or whatever. I figure it is going to be a loooong time before we'll get to do this again once Baby is here!
According to the books and websites, my uterus is the size of a basketball now. That blows my mind!!! The thought of an entire basketball inside my belly...basketballs are BIG, well, so is my belly, so I guess it all adds up, but still, for some reason a basketball just seems huge! Baby is around 2 pounds and 15 inches long from head to foot now. He can hear me when I talk, and will begin to recognize my voice and Kyle's voice soon. His eyes are open now and he can see light, so they say if I shine a flashlight on my tummy then Baby will respond with a kick or something. I tried it once to see if it would help Kyle feel Baby move, but I don't really like the idea of bugging Baby with bright lights, he moves plenty now and Kyle has for sure felt those kicks, so I think we'll let Baby rest in his cozy home without the nuisance of bright lights.
One fun thing, when I read my books (which, as we know, is always!) I have found myself resting the book on my belly. Inevitably, Baby pushes, shoves, and/or kicks where the book is, and he is strong enough to where you can actually see the book jump. Guess I better be careful about resting any hot chocolate or anything on there! ;)

19 Weeks!

We are 19 weeks into this pregnancy and what an adventure it is! Of course, I started this blog with visions of future cozy family moments where Kyle and I could sit with this little one and read a week-by-week account of what Mommy and Daddy were like during the pregnancy. And, of course, that is completely unrealistic because half the time I don't even remember to post, and when I do remember I am inevitably somewhere that I can't do an update. But, hey, I've got a few minutes now and had a couple fun things to capture :)
One of them, and this is so minor, but it made me smile and I'm still kind of laughing over it...anyways, okay, back on track. Today I was reading on a website about what to expect at 19 weeks and it mentioned that iron was an important nutrient for baby and me right now, and that red meat is one of the best sources of iron. I've been noticing quite an increase in my desire for red meat over the past week or two, which is differnt for me, usually I don't crave steak or burgers, I mean, I'll never pass up a cheeseburger or a steak! But, I don't normally spend all day at work fantasizing about grilling burgers for dinner :) So, anyways, I email Kyle about it cuz I thought it was interesting (the craving red meat/iron, not the cheeseburger fantasy) and he replies with "well we're going to have to get you a slab of cow to eat tonight! wouldn't your pre-nadal pills have a bunch of iron in them?" and I just started cracking up because of his spelling of "pre-nadal" instead of "pre-natal", is that only funny to me?? Jennifer and Angie got a kick out of it, one of those endearing things that men do. I can't fault him, the way it is pronounced would certainly match up with his spelling, but to me it was just the cutest thing! Okay, so there is one little milestone or family moment or whatever you want to call that one.
The next thing I wanted to post about was the ultrasound I had 2 weeks ago. Dr. Harro wanted me to go in to have an ultrasound that would help us nail down the age of the baby, which would give us a more accurate due date. We were thinking I was about 11 weeks along and would be due around January 18, 2010. The rules for ultrasounds include drinking at least 32 oz. of water about an hour before the appointment, apparently a full bladder makes the ultrasound picture show up more clearly. Now, being me, I had to go to the extreme on the water drinking. In my thinking, if 32 oz. would give an okay picture of baby, just imagine what 64 oz. would do! Oh yeah, there goes Extra-Credit Sarah pounding through 64 oz. of water an hour before her appointment, chug-a-lug!! This was at 5:00 and my appointment is scheduled for 6:00. I get there all proud of myself and thinking this will be a great ultrasound, considering an 11 week old baby is pretty tiny, I wanted to be absolutely certain that we'd get a good look at Baby Remsburg! And then I get there and find out they are "running a little behind". uh oh. turns out I didn't get into that room until 6:45, and ohhhhhhh was I regretting those extra 32 oz. by that point! But the picture showed up just wonderfully, and I was completely enthralled by the image of that perfect little one on the screen, I completely forgot about my bladder that was ready to burst and started hoping we could just look at those ultrasound images for hours on end. The nurse was taking measurements and pointing out baby's head, arms, legs and spine for me, it was amazing! At one point she showed me the legs and said, "See how they are moving? Baby is kicking your bladder" lol! What a stinker! Then she says, "Everything is looking great for a 16.5 week pregnancy!" and I just kind of did a double take, asked her "Whaaaaat??" and she confirmed for me that we were actually just about 17 weeks in, not 11, and my new due date is now December 10, 2009. I was SOOOOOO excited! The first trimester is officially and safely behind me now, praise the Lord! Baby looks healthy and happy just swimming around and kicking away at Mommy's full bladder :) When I called Kyle to tell him on my way home he was super excited himself, and of course, my practical husband was quick to point out that we'd make the tax break cut-off, I do love that man!
Okay, there are some updates for now...oooh, wait, one more while I'm here!
At our first OB-GYN appointment with Dr. Harro we got a chance to possibly hear the heartbeat. Up until that point the only confirmation of pregnancy I'd had was the at home test results...granted, I did take 2, but still, there's nothing like hearing it from the doctor! So anyways, Dr. Harro confirmed that I was for sure pregnant and that Kyle and I were well on our way to becoming Mom and Dad (how cool does that sound?!?!) Okay, so next comes the part where Dr. Harro gets out his Doppler tool and is telling us that, at only 8 or 9 weeks (this was before we had the ultrasound)there is a chance we will hear the heartbeat but we also might not find it, which was totally okay from a "healthy baby" standpoint, but I just really really wanted to hear that sound! And sure enough, when Dr. Harro put the Doppler tool up to my tummy it wasn't more than 15 seconds before we heard that precious little heart beating away. I'm getting all teary just typing about it. That was the most amazing sound I'v ever heard, I couldn't help but get choked up, and yeah, there were tears streaming down my face and a big ole cheese grin going on! It was just so awesome to actually be able to hear my baby, I know there will be even bigger moments in the months (and years) to come, but that was my very first true experience with feeling like a Mommy and I will cherish it for the rest of my life!

And so it begins

Yesterday at 4:00 I saw the one word that will forever change the lives of myself and my husband, Kyle. The word was "pregnant" and it appeared on the home pregnancy test I had just taken in a bathroom stall at work. Yes, that's right, I said at work. I'd spent the 2.5 days leading up to that moment thinking that I was pregnant and I was getting to the point where I couldn't focus on anything else, so I got up from my desk at 3:15 and drove myself to Target.
Once I found where the tests were I spent a solid 10 minutes agonizing over the different brands and all the different types within each brand. Finally, I realized that it really didn't matter which one I picked, the results would be the results regardless of the name on the box. I picked the one that has the digital read out, and honestly, my main reason for choosing that one was the commercials they've aired that make fun of their product, calling it the "most advanced piece of technology you will ever pee on." lol! Anyways, I start walking to the checkout and it hits me, "oh no! what if someone I know is here?!?!", so I grabbed some face wash to hold over the box. I know, how ridiculous, but my brain was not at all working with me at the time! I made it to and through the check out with no incident and was safely back in my car and on my way back to work in no time.
Once I was back at my desk I couldn't wait another minute, so I stashed the test in my glasses case and headed for the bathroom, locked myself in the last stall, and took a deeeep breath.
Moment of truth, no going back after this. I didn't even really know what I was hoping for. I'd already been suspecting this for a few days, and as I reflect now I see that I actually pretty much "knew" I was pregnant for weeks already at this point. Kyle and I were not actively trying, and although kids were in the plans for "someday" that day was definitely not 5.12.2009! I had been thinking about what I would do if it did flash "pregnant" and when I was thinking about it I really didn't have any reason for not wanting it to say that other than the fact that I knew Kyle didn't feel like it was time for us to start building the family we both knew we wanted but just hadn't decided to start building just yet. Personally, I've been ready for a baby since the minute he and I got married last September. I had planned to wait until the end of this summer and then start trying once we had reached our first anniversary. My only reason for wanting to wait for the end of summer is that this summer was to be the first one in as long as I can remember that I wasn't in school or planning a wedding. I was looking forward to having a completely responsibility free summer filled with doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. But standing there in that bathroom stall, getting ready to take the test, I had the overwhelming feeling of "I'm so ready for this, I kind of hope it says I'm pregnant!" mixed with "but I'll be okay if I have to wait until fall".
The test was supposed to take 3 minutes for the results to come up, mine came up in less than 30 seconds. When I saw that word on that screen I was flooded with excitement, fear, relief, ecstasy, and an overriding sense of awe. I was going to have a baby!! There is a little tiny life inside me right now, a baby created by my husband and I, that was really the most humbling and awesome feelings I have ever had, and it certainly hasn't gone away!