Not really feeling all that "bloggy" lately, but I wanted to capture a milestone that happened today.
When I got to day care to pick Kaleb up tonight I saw the following written in the parent comment section of his daily report sheet:
"Kaleb peed on the potty today!!"
Now that he has graduated to the Tigger room, part of the daily routine is going to the real bathrooms for diaper changes instead of doing them in the care room. The kids are all given an opportunity to sit on the big boy/big girl potty while they are there. Kaleb has been taking advantage of the chance to sit on the potty for a few weeks now, today he actually used it :)
What a fun surprise to read about when I picked him up today! I'm encouraged that he is showing signs of interest, both at home and at day care, in potty training. I would love to have him well on his way before the new baby arrives. I don't want to have him trying to accomplish that at the same time as adjusting to a new baby, so I'm hoping this is the sign that he is getting ready to start the process, which will give us plenty of time to have him comfortable with a new potty routine before baby gets here.
Oh, and since he is my kid, and my mind works this way, I did ask the following clarifying question of his teacher:
"I see it says 'peed ON the potty', before I get too excited, does that mean he used the toilet as it is intended to be used or that he peed all over it while another child was trying to use it?"
Hey man, I wouldn't put it past him!
About Me
- Miss Madly
- My husband, Kyle, and I are the proud and busy parents of two little boys, Kaleb and Jacob. Kaleb joined our family in December 2009 and we welcomed Jacob in April 2012. We both work full time outside the home, I am in the field of Learning and Development. I have a passion for studying the brain and how we learn, which translates beautifully to watching my boys grow up and discover their worlds. I'm also into learning about nutrition, herbalism, food-as-medicine, natural alternatives, and homeopahtic remedies. I hope to provide an uncut view of what life is really like as a working mom, minus the instagram filters and facebook bragging...I'll save that for facebook ;)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wrangling a Cookie Monster
Today my mom picked Kaleb up from day care and brought him over to her house to play with her and Kerry. They missed him so it was a great opportunity to spend some quality time. I had to pick Kyle up at the airport at 5, so it worked out well to have Kaleb over at my mom's until Kyle and I could get out there to get him. We went over there, I took Kaleb into the bathroom with me and put him in a shirt that says "Big Brother" on the front. Then we walked back out to where everyone was and just waited for the shirt to do our announcing. Kerry noticed first, then my mom, then Mikey (he was there putting in new flooring in the bathroom for my mom). It was fun to see everyone so excited :)
After the excitement wound down and we were all just hanging out, Kaleb said he wanted to eat. My mom had made dinner for all of us and she went and made him a little plate of chicken and some potatoes. Kaleb was saying he wanted cookies, he went to the drawer where the cookies are stored and pulled them out then carried them around demanding cookies for dinner. I told him he could have cookies after he ate some of his chicken. He did not at all appreciate this idea and proceeded to push his plate away and continue demanding cookies.
Here I found myself in one of those parenting moments, where you know everyone in the room is watching to see what you will do, how you will handle this one. You know they all have their own opinions on how to best handle your child, but they are waiting to see what you'll do. Will you "put your foot down" and insist he eats a certain number of bites before getting down? Will you strike a bargain that he can have one cookie if he eats his dinner after that? Will you yell at him for behaving this way because he is embarrassing you? I was fully aware of this, and I admit to feeling embarrassed by his defiance and feeling tempted to do any of the above options within the span of 1 minute.
I've read the books on this, identified the strategies and philosophies that make sense to me, and here was my chance to put them into play in a public setting. Kaleb was crying now, yelling for cookies. I told him he could eat his dinner or he could choose to get down for now if he wasn't ready to eat his dinner. He chose to get down, so I helped him down from his chair and he ran to the living room where he proceeded to sit down and cry/make suffering sounds while checking every few moments to make sure he still had an audience. And he for sure had an audience. My mom, sister, brother, and husband were all watching him, and me, to see how this was going to all play out.
I stayed in my chair and made eye contact with him when he looked at me, letting him know I was paying attention and here if he needed me. After about 3 minutes he started adding some pathetic "Moooommmmy"'s into the mix so I took that as my invite. I got up from my chair and went and sat near him, telling him that I was here and that I loved him and showing him so with my actions. He moved away from me and got more upset, then after 30 seconds started moving closer to me. I picked him up and hugged him then sat him down next to me. I assured him again that I was right there and asked if he wanted to go cuddle for a while. He said no and said he wanted to sit and then asked for his passy. I told him I knew where it was and asked him to hold my hand and come with me to help me get it.
When he took firm grip of my hand I was surprised, I had expected him to object for the sake of objecting, as he'd been doing throughout this episode. This marked the turning point. He held my hand and walked with me to his diaper bag, laughed when I made a joke about how the passy was hiding from me, because I couldn't find it where I thought it was, and then took the passy and calmed down. After a minute or so of calm sitting together I asked him if he was ready to come sit up at the table with me again and he said yes. We went to the table, I moved his plate away from him and told him it was ready when he was but he could choose when to eat and showed him where his fork was, within reach. He reached for his fork, I offered him ketchup to dip his chicken in, which he accepted, and then he ate every bite of his chicken.
I wanted to do a full on touch down dance. This was one of the few times while in public that I've had an opportunity to put into practice what I've read in Positive Discipline and Unconditional Parenting, and it worked! I stayed connected and available to him in a moment when he was showing strong emotion. I didn't let my embarrassment based on what others thought turn to anger with him over this. I showed him that, even when he is acting in a way that I may not like, I still love him and I am still going to be there for him, that there it is okay to express intense emotions, Mommy will be right there and will not abandon him just because I don't like his current behavior. I demonstrated that my love is not conditional on his behavior, emotions, or opinions.
Does this mean my mom, sister, brother, and/or husband didn't judge me and my methods? No. It means I stuck to what I felt was right despite what others might think of my parenting. My goal for the interaction was for Kaleb to eat his chicken by his own choice. It took some tears and tantrum on his part and a lot of patience and suppression of embarrassed feelings based on what others think on my part, but in the end, he ate every bite. I'm so glad I didn't let my fear of what others thought dictate my parenting, I'm really proud of myself for doing what I felt was best and right for my child. And I'm SO pleased that it worked!
Oh, and after all that, he never did remember that he wanted a cookie in the first place. So, to keep the universe balanced, I ate the cookie while he played with his Uncle Ben :)
After the excitement wound down and we were all just hanging out, Kaleb said he wanted to eat. My mom had made dinner for all of us and she went and made him a little plate of chicken and some potatoes. Kaleb was saying he wanted cookies, he went to the drawer where the cookies are stored and pulled them out then carried them around demanding cookies for dinner. I told him he could have cookies after he ate some of his chicken. He did not at all appreciate this idea and proceeded to push his plate away and continue demanding cookies.
Here I found myself in one of those parenting moments, where you know everyone in the room is watching to see what you will do, how you will handle this one. You know they all have their own opinions on how to best handle your child, but they are waiting to see what you'll do. Will you "put your foot down" and insist he eats a certain number of bites before getting down? Will you strike a bargain that he can have one cookie if he eats his dinner after that? Will you yell at him for behaving this way because he is embarrassing you? I was fully aware of this, and I admit to feeling embarrassed by his defiance and feeling tempted to do any of the above options within the span of 1 minute.
I've read the books on this, identified the strategies and philosophies that make sense to me, and here was my chance to put them into play in a public setting. Kaleb was crying now, yelling for cookies. I told him he could eat his dinner or he could choose to get down for now if he wasn't ready to eat his dinner. He chose to get down, so I helped him down from his chair and he ran to the living room where he proceeded to sit down and cry/make suffering sounds while checking every few moments to make sure he still had an audience. And he for sure had an audience. My mom, sister, brother, and husband were all watching him, and me, to see how this was going to all play out.
I stayed in my chair and made eye contact with him when he looked at me, letting him know I was paying attention and here if he needed me. After about 3 minutes he started adding some pathetic "Moooommmmy"'s into the mix so I took that as my invite. I got up from my chair and went and sat near him, telling him that I was here and that I loved him and showing him so with my actions. He moved away from me and got more upset, then after 30 seconds started moving closer to me. I picked him up and hugged him then sat him down next to me. I assured him again that I was right there and asked if he wanted to go cuddle for a while. He said no and said he wanted to sit and then asked for his passy. I told him I knew where it was and asked him to hold my hand and come with me to help me get it.
When he took firm grip of my hand I was surprised, I had expected him to object for the sake of objecting, as he'd been doing throughout this episode. This marked the turning point. He held my hand and walked with me to his diaper bag, laughed when I made a joke about how the passy was hiding from me, because I couldn't find it where I thought it was, and then took the passy and calmed down. After a minute or so of calm sitting together I asked him if he was ready to come sit up at the table with me again and he said yes. We went to the table, I moved his plate away from him and told him it was ready when he was but he could choose when to eat and showed him where his fork was, within reach. He reached for his fork, I offered him ketchup to dip his chicken in, which he accepted, and then he ate every bite of his chicken.
I wanted to do a full on touch down dance. This was one of the few times while in public that I've had an opportunity to put into practice what I've read in Positive Discipline and Unconditional Parenting, and it worked! I stayed connected and available to him in a moment when he was showing strong emotion. I didn't let my embarrassment based on what others thought turn to anger with him over this. I showed him that, even when he is acting in a way that I may not like, I still love him and I am still going to be there for him, that there it is okay to express intense emotions, Mommy will be right there and will not abandon him just because I don't like his current behavior. I demonstrated that my love is not conditional on his behavior, emotions, or opinions.
Does this mean my mom, sister, brother, and/or husband didn't judge me and my methods? No. It means I stuck to what I felt was right despite what others might think of my parenting. My goal for the interaction was for Kaleb to eat his chicken by his own choice. It took some tears and tantrum on his part and a lot of patience and suppression of embarrassed feelings based on what others think on my part, but in the end, he ate every bite. I'm so glad I didn't let my fear of what others thought dictate my parenting, I'm really proud of myself for doing what I felt was best and right for my child. And I'm SO pleased that it worked!
Oh, and after all that, he never did remember that he wanted a cookie in the first place. So, to keep the universe balanced, I ate the cookie while he played with his Uncle Ben :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Future nostalgia
Our 3 year anniversary is Tuesday (9/20), Kyle took me out to Cygnus last night for dinner to celebrate :) When I think about our wedding in Jamaica just 3 years ago, and that now, for this anniversary, we have a small child and another on the way, I get a sense of future nostalgia. Is that even a thing? I think about how these are the days in our relationship, and in our family, that we'll look back on when we celebrate our 35th anniversary.
The same thing happens when I put our pictures in photo albums. These albums that I'm buying, brand new, right now and filling with pictures from recent events, are going to be the albums the kids pull out years from now when they want to look at their baby pictures. The albums and pictures will become faded and old-looking, probably somewhat tattered from use. They won't probably ever remember these albums as brand new, one of my major accomplishments of this year and years to come. To them, these books (along with so many other things I'll do for them as their mother) will just be something that is there, not a project of love, but just another part of their family life.
And the "me" who put them together will be a memory, a person my kids don't fully know because to them I'll always be 'Mom', they aren't going to really understand the part of me who is 'Sarah' who is still learning right now what it means to be 'Mom', and who will probably still be learning then. They'll try to imagine Mom and Dad as young people with all their friends having the time of their lives in Jamaica for their wedding, but the people they see in those pictures will most likely seem like strangers to them, not possibly the same people they know today as their parents.
Many times, when I'm taking pictures of Kaleb I'm thinking of how these are his baby pictures. The fun shots I take of him on our vacation to Sleeping Bear Dunes will be accessories to the stories I tell him in years to come about the time it was only him, no siblings, and we all went on an adventure together. I already think about how I will be visibly pregnant in all the pictures of his 2nd birthday party this year. And how I will show those pictures to this baby and we'll talk about how this baby was here with us for that party.
I wonder if other people think like this or if it is just me and my romanticized imagination.
The same thing happens when I put our pictures in photo albums. These albums that I'm buying, brand new, right now and filling with pictures from recent events, are going to be the albums the kids pull out years from now when they want to look at their baby pictures. The albums and pictures will become faded and old-looking, probably somewhat tattered from use. They won't probably ever remember these albums as brand new, one of my major accomplishments of this year and years to come. To them, these books (along with so many other things I'll do for them as their mother) will just be something that is there, not a project of love, but just another part of their family life.
And the "me" who put them together will be a memory, a person my kids don't fully know because to them I'll always be 'Mom', they aren't going to really understand the part of me who is 'Sarah' who is still learning right now what it means to be 'Mom', and who will probably still be learning then. They'll try to imagine Mom and Dad as young people with all their friends having the time of their lives in Jamaica for their wedding, but the people they see in those pictures will most likely seem like strangers to them, not possibly the same people they know today as their parents.
Many times, when I'm taking pictures of Kaleb I'm thinking of how these are his baby pictures. The fun shots I take of him on our vacation to Sleeping Bear Dunes will be accessories to the stories I tell him in years to come about the time it was only him, no siblings, and we all went on an adventure together. I already think about how I will be visibly pregnant in all the pictures of his 2nd birthday party this year. And how I will show those pictures to this baby and we'll talk about how this baby was here with us for that party.
I wonder if other people think like this or if it is just me and my romanticized imagination.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Missing 'Bissy'
I just got the news that one of my favorite teachers at Kid's World, Miss Elizabeth, has put in her 2 week notice. This is such hard news to receive. I'm happy for her because she is pursuing a great opportunity. But I can't help it, I'm so sad for Kaleb. He loves this teacher, his face lights up every time we see her in the morning, he talks about her outside of day care. He calls her "Bissy". I hate the reality that after next Friday she is going to be gone from his life. I hate it so much that I'm crying. This has only happened with 2 other teachers since we started there, Miss Angie and Miss Diane. Other teachers have left, but there are just those few that you really really like and that you can tell your baby has bonded with. And now that bond is about to be broken, and that hurts my heart.
I know that this type of thing is usually much harder on the parent than on the child. Kaleb is so resilient, he will move on and probably not really suffer much at all. He still has Miss Megan, his primary teacher, and I know he loves her very much, and I'm a huge fan of her too.
It is a hard thing to accept, the loss of an important influence in your child's life. I get it that this is inherent to day care, the teachers move on and you know going into it that this will happen. And it isn't just day care, it happens with all child care situations. I remember when I left my nanny position before starting at Farmers. I am now seeing what it must have been like for that mom. So hard. So sad.
Best wishes, Bissy, we miss you already!
I know that this type of thing is usually much harder on the parent than on the child. Kaleb is so resilient, he will move on and probably not really suffer much at all. He still has Miss Megan, his primary teacher, and I know he loves her very much, and I'm a huge fan of her too.
It is a hard thing to accept, the loss of an important influence in your child's life. I get it that this is inherent to day care, the teachers move on and you know going into it that this will happen. And it isn't just day care, it happens with all child care situations. I remember when I left my nanny position before starting at Farmers. I am now seeing what it must have been like for that mom. So hard. So sad.
Best wishes, Bissy, we miss you already!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
It can't be...can it?!
I'm trying to get dressed to go furniture shopping and then down to Hispanic Festival. I have gone through at least 5 outfits, all weekend go-to's that were just fine last weekend. In every of the outfits I try on, I look pregnant. How is that possible? I'm 8.5 weeks, that's only 2 months. With Kaleb I wasn't showing until 5 months, at the earliest. I went through the "maybe I'm just having a fat day" already, but the part of my stomach that is sticking out is hard to the touch, not mushy. Also, I got on the scale and I haven't gained a pound, which I would think lends credence to the "it's not a food baby" theory. I'm not gassy and have been plenty regular so I doubt it is that.
This seems crazy, so I googled it (my solution to everything!) and found a number of baby sites with second time around pregnant ladies saying the same thing. There are a lot of women out there reporting "popping" or starting to show around 8 or 9 weeks. I knew to expect to show a bit earlier the second time around, but I thought that meant a month early, not 3 months early!
All my other symptoms are tracking in line with my first pregnancy, but the symptom that is going to be really tough to play off as something else seems to have arrived a few months ahead of schedule. This isn't the "thickening of the waist line that may have your clothes feeling snug" that the baby book talks about. My clothes still fit exactly the same. I'm not deluded, I just tried on a pair of freshly washed jeans that fit last weekend, and they still fit, and fit the same way.
I know what you're thinking, I'm rolling my eyes too at the pregnant chick grasping at straws for why my stomach is sticking out so much right now. I still need to make it 4 weeks before we are planning to announce. Come on cooler weather and big sweaters! Or, come on tomorrow morning when everything looks normal again and this extended stomach is back to it's normal amount of sticking outedness!
This seems crazy, so I googled it (my solution to everything!) and found a number of baby sites with second time around pregnant ladies saying the same thing. There are a lot of women out there reporting "popping" or starting to show around 8 or 9 weeks. I knew to expect to show a bit earlier the second time around, but I thought that meant a month early, not 3 months early!
All my other symptoms are tracking in line with my first pregnancy, but the symptom that is going to be really tough to play off as something else seems to have arrived a few months ahead of schedule. This isn't the "thickening of the waist line that may have your clothes feeling snug" that the baby book talks about. My clothes still fit exactly the same. I'm not deluded, I just tried on a pair of freshly washed jeans that fit last weekend, and they still fit, and fit the same way.
I know what you're thinking, I'm rolling my eyes too at the pregnant chick grasping at straws for why my stomach is sticking out so much right now. I still need to make it 4 weeks before we are planning to announce. Come on cooler weather and big sweaters! Or, come on tomorrow morning when everything looks normal again and this extended stomach is back to it's normal amount of sticking outedness!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Just not feelin' it this week
It's been over a week since I last wrote here, not for lack of stuff to share, just haven't been in a "bloggy" mood I guess. I've been caught off guard a couple times this past week with a minor case of pregnancy bitchiness. Haven't actually snapped or lashed out at anyone (at least not that I noticed, maybe I did and the person just rolled his/her eyes behind my back?). Anyway. I'll be sitting at my desk and just be generally annoyed with the world, every little thing getting on my nerves in a way that doesn't typically happen. I forgot that pregnancy hormones can do this to you. This has most likely contributed to the general feeling of 'blah' I've had towards most things this week.
Kaleb continues to amaze me with his rapidly developing communication skills. He's stringing together 4-6 word sentences now. Not completely effortlessly, it usually takes him a few tries with all 4 or 6 words before he gets them in the right order, but it is still wild to hear him talking like this! At day care this month each of the kids in Kaleb's class has a goal, they are posted just inside the door to his classroom. I expected Kaleb's to be something like "use a big boy cup" or "help clean up toys". When I saw that his goal is "put on shoes and socks" it took me by surprise. How can he already be old enough for that to be a reasonable goal?! I trust his teachers, they know what he is capable of, and I love that they are pushing him, I just can't believe my baby boy is already old enough to be learning to dress himself!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. In the past week 2 friends have announced their own pregnancies, one on facebook and one in person to me. It has been really tough both times not to burst out with "ME TOO!!" but I've controlled myself. Only 4 more weeks until it is my turn to for a big reveal :)
Kaleb continues to amaze me with his rapidly developing communication skills. He's stringing together 4-6 word sentences now. Not completely effortlessly, it usually takes him a few tries with all 4 or 6 words before he gets them in the right order, but it is still wild to hear him talking like this! At day care this month each of the kids in Kaleb's class has a goal, they are posted just inside the door to his classroom. I expected Kaleb's to be something like "use a big boy cup" or "help clean up toys". When I saw that his goal is "put on shoes and socks" it took me by surprise. How can he already be old enough for that to be a reasonable goal?! I trust his teachers, they know what he is capable of, and I love that they are pushing him, I just can't believe my baby boy is already old enough to be learning to dress himself!
I'm 8 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. In the past week 2 friends have announced their own pregnancies, one on facebook and one in person to me. It has been really tough both times not to burst out with "ME TOO!!" but I've controlled myself. Only 4 more weeks until it is my turn to for a big reveal :)
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