Fast paced update from a fast paced life

It is sad how absent my updates have been this summer. Such an amazing time for our family but just so intense and busy that I haven't prioritized this. When I look back and feel disappointed over not capturing it all better, I hope to maintain the perspective that I was so involved in participating in our lives that I didn't have time to document it. Also, i took just as many pictures as I always do, so I'll be able to piece together our family stories from the photo albums...provided I ever print the pictures out then take time to organize them into albums :)

Quick updates on both boys

Jacob just cut his first tooth, bottom front right, yesterday. Then today I saw the one right next to it had broken skin. That explains the extreme lack of sleep we've dealt with all last week and the slowing down on nursing and bottle feedings. I was so worried last Wednesday that I took him to after hours care suspecting an ear infection. Not the case, but the peace of mind was worth the $20 copay! (it really is true that you have to learn all over again with the 2nd kid, many times I feel like I'm new at this again!) He is able to sit up on his own unsupported now, provided you set him up, and he can hold it from 10 - 45 seconds before toppling over while reaching for a toy. His laugh is all Jacob! More of a guffaw than a giggle, and he keeps this constant breathy exhale sound going the whole time then gets louder as he gets more excited. Hard to describe, and I'll be sure to capture video of it! We started feeding him solids last Wednesday. His first food was mashed avocado thinned with a little breast milk. I did catch an amazing video of that, uploaded in a previous post. He did remarkably well, grabbed the spoon from my hand and was able to guide it to his own mouth. Since then he has had peas, quinoa flake porridge, more avocado, and a banana/mango medley. If you are doing the math you have deduced that I've not honored the 'wait 3 days' advice...I just got so excited to introduce him to yummy tastes :) On the sleep front, he goes to bed around 7 every night and wakes up to eat at around 11:30 and 3ish. I'm ready for him to drop that 3am feeding, the lack of sleep is absolutely catching up to me. Jacob is babbling and cooing like crazy, he is constantly making sounds, to the point where other people comment on how much he 'talks'. He has multiple consonant sounds like Guh, Gah, Bah, Buh, Goo, Da, La, Ma and thhpppt (that is the sticking tongue out sound) and he strings them all together with different tone, pitch and volume variations. It sounds quite conversational, to the point sometimes where Kyle and I pause the TV while Jacob is babbling away in his crib at night because it really does sound like he is straight up talking to someone. Could I be blessed enough to have TWO super verbal kids?!

Kaleb blows my mind every day. He says things like "Oh, I didn't realize it was over there" while looking for a toy and tonight he said "Mommy, this dinner is so good, thank you for making it!" He is just over 2 1/2, I can't believe how intelligent and verbal he is. He demonstrates empathy while watching a movie and seeing a sad character, wanting to know why the character is sad and wanting to stop and talk about what could help the character feel better. He does all kinds of chores to help me out around the house, from putting away the silverware from the dishwasher to helping me set and clear the table for dinner and getting water from the sink and pouring it in the kitty water dish. He loves to help me take care of Jacob, when Jacob cries Kaleb will come running and say "It's okay Jacob, big brudder is here" (I love how he says brudder, I'll be sad when he stops doing that!) He shares his pacifier and/or blanket with Jacob if he thinks it would help Jacob feel better, he always offers to share his snack or juice with me or Kyle. He uses a kitchen chair to get his own snacks out of the cupboard or refrigerator, and when done with a snack he puts things back and puts his trash in the can and his spoon in the sink with no prompting from me. He is working on potty training but not completely interested yet. He regularly receives glowing reports from his teachers, and has also stumped them a number of times by being too intelligent for their standard '2 year old' tricks to work on him. I've had multiple chats with his teacher about how we manage Kaleb at home, and have been able to work together to help him be more successful at school. With Kaleb, we find it effective to ask him questions rather than tell him. For example, "Kaleb, what do we do when we are all done with our toys?" or "Hmmm, it looks like there is some juice spilled here, Kaleb can you help me remember how we fix this?".

On a brothers front, the boys are so wonderful to observe. I love when they are in the living room and don't realize I stopped on my way past the room to watch them for a bit. Jacob in his bouncy activity thing staring with rapt attention at Kaleb while Kaleb shows Jacob how to work certain toys or sings him a song or just talks to him. I love how Kaleb is possessive of his brother, how he is attuned to what Jacob needs when he cries, and how Kaleb initiates on his own some interactions and play time and is excited to see Jacob after school and wants to give him a hug and kiss. I love how Jacob is completely engrossed in all things Kaleb. Jacob's face splits in half with a massive grin when he sees his brother, he does his most expressive babbling when Kaleb is the target of his conversation, and if Kaleb is in the room then you can bet that Jacob is watching every thing his big brother is doing. Just this week I started giving them bath at the same time, Jacob's whale tub in the big tub with Kaleb. Such wonderful happy times, I seriously some times feel like I'm going to just implode from all the love and joy I feel with my family!

Well, what was going to be just a couple lines about each boy turned in to quite the post! Suppose I'll keep going real quick with an update on me and Kyle. We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary last week...which we didn't realize had arrived until I got home from work that day and saw a card from our wedding photographer wishing us a happy anniversary. I walked into the living room holding the card and said "Well, uhhh, happy anniversary honey!" and Kyle looked at his watch and said "Oh wow, is that today?!" Oh well, at least we both forgot it the same year, so neither can really feel all that slighted. I suppose that event underscores the level of insanity that is our current family life that has kept me from making time to update lately! We are excited to be heading to Chicago this weekend to see The Avett Brothers in concert with Brent and Eddie. We'll be staying in a hostel, which is a first, and we are doing 2 nights because the Remsburg's have amazingly and graciously offered to keep the boys for the whole weekend. We will miss our munchkins like crazy, but are going to really enjoy some time to spend as just Kyle and Sarah as a couple :)

Okay, well, I suppose I should update the title of this post to "Exhaustive update from an exhausted wife and mother" but I think I'll just let the original title stand.

Jacob's first food!

Busy Weekend & Some "Firsts" for Both Boys!

We are coming off a beautifully busy summer weekend, now both boys are sleeping soundly and I'm stealing a moment to post here about some special firsts we had over the weekend.

Last night Jacob slept in his crib all night long! I mean, he woke up for his midnight and his 3AM feedings, but he spent the sleeping part of his night in his crib. I hadn't planned on him moving out of the bassinet in our bedroom until he was around 4 months, but it looks like plans have changed. Here's the story of how that came to be:

I've shared previously that Jacob fell into an eat/play/sleep cycle which is what some experts say is ideal, but I assure you we had nothing to do with him choosing to go that route, he did that one all on his own :) Lately, when the play is done, Jacob has been having a rough time transitioning to sleep, unless I put him in the Moby wrap. That is A-OK with me for the most part, but then it is hard to get him out of the wrap and down for sleep if I want to do anything else, like shower or cook or perhaps go to sleep myself. He hated swaddling as a newborn, preferring to have his hands clenched under his chin instead.

A friend recommended I try swaddling again, citing the 5 S's (shush, swaddle, swing, side, suck) of The Happiest Baby on the Block. I had great success with all these S's with Kaleb, and was golden with 4 of them for Jacob, except the part that Jacob didn't like swaddling as a newborn. I was pretty sure it wouldn't work, but I've made some recommendations to her that I know she thought wouldn't work and she still tried them (mostly with success), so I went for it.

She was right! I swaddled Jacob up tight, popped in his paci, and sang to him (my version of the shush) while rocking him. He was out within 3 minutes! I put him in his crib and he took a 2 hour nap! Since the swaddle turns him into a baby mummy/gloworm, he won't go very easily into the bassinet (which is really just a Boppy Bouncy seat) in our room with his swaddle on. So, I decided after his 9PM feeding last night to put him in the crib instead of the bassinet. He slept straight through to his midnight feeding, I rocked him while feeding him in the glider in the nursery then put him back until his 3AM, which actually stretched to 4AM last night! He slept great in there, all swaddled up and cozy. I'm excited to see him falling asleep easily and happily, and also a little sad that the co-sleeping phase has ended 2 months earlier than I was planning on.

Another first of the weekend for Jacob was his first consonant sound, a perfectly adorable little "uhh-GUH". I adore his little voice, it is deep for a baby, only squeeky when he screams or cries. But his conversation voice is low and deep and a little breathy and I just love all our little talks. He gets so excited when he makes noises, his whole face breaking into this beaming grin. He really is a sweet and cute little monkey man!

Kaleb also had a first this weekend, our first time playing baseball in the backyard! Yesterday, we got him a foam bat that came with a plastic baseball. Today, while a snuggly swaddled Jacob slept in the crib, Kyle and I went outside with Kaleb to play. Kyle drew Kaleb a home plate on the driveway with sidewalk chalk and taught him how to hold, and choke up on, his bat. I taught him how to stand with his toes lined up to home plate and how to keep his eye on the ball. Then I threw him pitches for at least 20 minutes, and he connected on quite a few of them! Kyle served as catcher and coach. It was a great family moment, the kind I started looking forward to when we first found out we were pregnant with Kaleb.

It was a fun weekend for our family. On Friday, the boys and I met up with Laura and her girls at Java Gym. It was nice having Analyn there because she helped Kaleb climb up the bigger levels that he hasn't been able to do on his own. He was completely worn out after that! Saturday morning we were up early to wear Kaleb out so he'd take an early nap. We went to play at Riverside Park, then home for nap, and then it was off to celebrate with our friends for their super cute son's first birthday. It was an excellent party, perfectly kid-friendly and Kaleb had a great time! There's something so magical about that first birthday party, I'm happy we were there to join the celebration :) Then it was a quick stop home and back out the door to a picnic at Townsend Park with Brent and Eddie. They spoiled Kaleb with a new leaf blower bubble machine, which he thought was awesome, and had other toys for him too! The toys are great, but the best part was that they then spent most of the rest of the night playing with Kaleb. He really loves those two, talks about them all the time. The other day, Kaleb said to me "Mommy, I'm taking Jacob with me to go see Brent and Eddie, we'll be right back!" awwww!

Today was baseball outside in the morning, nap time, then over to Ben and Laura's to celebrate Father's Day with my dad early, since Mike and Kerry will be at camp next weekend. I love seeing Kaleb play with his cousins and aunts and uncles. He adores them all and it is very special to me to be able to raise my kids around cousins, aunts, and uncles since we didn't have any of those close to us when we were kids.

Busy busy weekend, full of firsts for both kids, fun times with great friends, and a chance to spend time with family. I say this a lot, because it is true, I Am Blessed!

Back to Work: The 'Me Too Crew' and 'What's the point?'

I start back to work tomorrow, and I'm both excited and sad at the same time.

I'm emotional over the part of going back to work that means I have to be away from Jacob. At this point, a little too emotional to capture in words. For now, suffice it to say I am squeezing him a little tighter when we rock at night and that tomorrow morning will be one for waterproof eye makeup.

I'm looking forward to getting back to my "real life" again. My leave has been wonderful, but I knew it wasn't a permanent thing and I'm looking forward to getting settled into a weekly routine again. (the actual figuring out of this routine is causing me some crazy stress, more on that soon)


The thing I'm looking forward to the most is getting back to what I now consider my "Me Too Crew" (probably missing some critical punctuation there...deal with it). I have great friends at work, and many of them are parents of young children. I have seriously missed seeing and talking to them daily about the joys and struggles of parenting. There is something so very powerful in sharing what you think is this crazy story, or this major parenting fail, and having someone else (or sometimes an entire group of people) nod their head and say "Yeah, that happened to me, too!" or "Oh man, I've so been there!".


I recently had the wife of one of these friends comment to me on Facebook about how crazy it can be with a 2 year old and an infant. This "me, too!" made me feel so much better about the many times I've felt completely overwhelmed with my boys. I am very happy to be re-joining that conversation with my work peeps, and I know it is going to work wonders on my stress levels!


On the not-so-excited front, I'm definitely stressed about how I'm going to manage my full-time schedule with both kids. I know that there are a lot of women who have done this, and who do it everyday, but it is my first time juggling an infant, toddler, husband, home, and career. Trying to picture how I'll swing work, menu planning, grocery shopping, family dinners every night, quality time with the boys, nurturing a marriage (or at the very least maintaining basic civility towards each other with all the stress!), breast feeding and pumping and storing milk and all the washing and packing of bottles...it is overwhelming to say the least.


This obsessively trying to figure out the perfect arrangement and ordering of tasks each day to ensure that it all gets done has reached a fevered pitch the past few days, as I get closer and closer to going back to work. I was literally pacing the floors the other day, with Jacob in the Moby wrap, trying to work out how I would make family dinners still happen every night.  With Jacob here now, I don't have time to menu plan during Kaleb's Friday nap. And in the summer we go to the cottage a lot on the weekends, which means I won't be able to grocery shop on Saturday, or if we go on Sunday I won't have that time to prep dinners for the week. And, I'll need and want to nurse Jacob right when we get home each night, so I won't be able to work on dinner. And so on and so on, I had myself worked into quite a stress-frenzy. And then, a thought came to me: "Why are you doing family dinners in the first place?" I'd like to say it was the still, small voice of God, but I fear He had to use a louder and more persistent voice to break through my incessant worrying over the details. But, the question came through and it stopped me in my Moby-wearin' tracks.


What IS the reason I wanted to eat dinner as a family every night? I can tell you it didn't have anything to do with playing with new recipes, and it wasn't about planning elaborate menus and spending hours on Pinterest looking for new ideas. No. The point of family dinners is to spend time as a family every day. The food on the table is no where near as important as the people around it. So what if we have sandwiches for dinner? Who cares if it is cereal even, some nights? If my family spends quality time at the cottage or the park on a weekend, that is a GOOD thing, not a nuisance! I can't believe how far from the goal I got, letting myself get stressed and worried, trapped in the details.


I want to be the kind of mother who smiles and laughs, I want my boys to look back on their childhood and see a happy mom who delighted in being with them. I know I will always have stress, raising a family is hard work, juggling career and marriage and children and home is tough for anyone. But, when my boys are grown and we look back over these years, I know it isn't the "Mom always had a balanced nutritious colorful meal" memory that is most important to me that they carry. That will happen some nights, eventually it will happen most nights. What I want my boys to remember when they are grown is more along the lines of "Mom had family dinner for us every night. We talked and laughed and I never once doubted that my parents loved me and wanted to hear about what was going on in my world." Or something like that. THAT is the point of having family dinner every night, and I'm very thankful to the Lord for the reminder this week, I needed it! :)

Rest in peace, Joe

On Sunday our dog, Joe, passed away while up at the cottage with Kyle for the weekend. Based on the symptoms we believe it was canine bloat. Kyle was up there for a bachelor party all weekend. Joe was fine all weekend, then early Sunday morning he started having some trouble. His stomach swelled up and was hard to the touch. He was outside laying down and then he stopped breathing. I want to capture this here because Joe was a part of our family.

My brother and brother-in-law where up at the cottage as well, so they were there to help Kyle bury Joe in the pet cemetery up there. I'm thankful they were there. Kyle is a strong, tough guy but no man is immune to the emotions of having to bury his dog, and Kyle is no exception to that. I'm sad I wasn't able to be there with and for him, but was glad Kyle had family there when it happened.

It is odd not having Joe here, every time a motorcycle drives by this week I have caught myself still cringing and waiting for Joe to go crazy. Then it doesn't happen. In the morning I think "Oh, I've got to feed Joe" and I catch myself looking for him in the back yard. Any reader who knows me will be aware that Joe was not my favorite thing in life, but I certainly never wanted to see this happen to him. While we've joked about finding him a new home over the past year, we weren't at all prepared for Joe to be gone from our lives this suddenly. A random thought I had this week "I'm glad I got some pictures of Joe sitting quietly with Jacob", because that means we have pictures of both the kids with Joe.

Kaleb has asked once to feed Joe, a chore he very much enjoyed doing, and we kind of skated around the issue because we hadn't discussed yet how we are going to handle explaining this to Kaleb. Since then we have had a chance to talk and are both on the same page: Honesty is the best policy, even when it is hard, and responses to his questions should be direct and brief. If/when Kaleb asks where Joe is we will tell him that Joe died and he is not here anymore. If he wants more of an explanation we'll tell him it means that Joe's body stopped working, that it means he doesn't eat anymore. I went to a couple of my books and many websites and it looks like the experts on this stuff agree with our approach.

Joe was a nervous, shedding, high-strung dog, but he was also gentle and loving towards both of the kids, eager to please, and (generally) obedient. He was a part of our family and he is missed. Rest in peace, Joe.

Lovely Mother's Day!

That's what I had yesterday, not just "Happy", but a day of reveling in the blessing that is my family. In the interest of being able to remember how we spent this first Mother's Day as a family of 4, I'll spend a quick minute capturing the actual events, then get into my actual purpose for this post.

I woke up to wrapped (wrapped!) presents and cards on the kitchen table. The boys gave me a hummingbird feeder and a chrysanthemum that I can plant in the garden. Kyle gave me the Dyson DC35 cordless vacuum, which I had been hinting at wanting for weeks...actually, there were no hints, I believe I said "So, I know people always say to never give appliances as gifts to your wife, but I reeeally want that Dyson!" :) Kyle then made breakfast, asparagus and crab omelette with hollandaise sauce and a side of bacon, and no, I didn't track calories yesterday!

After breakfast we hung out a bit around the house then got everyone dressed and out the door for some playtime and a walk at Riverside Park. While Kaleb napped, I fed Jacob and then Jacob fell asleep as well. That's right, another killer gift from the boys, simultaneous naps! I sat outside in the 70 degree sunny day and kept Kyle company while he did some outside chores. I enjoyed an icy cold Corona while reading the book I bought myself for Mother's Day, Tina Fey's Bossypants (LOVE it!). I also made these Breakfast Cookies which turned out really good considering they have no butter, no oil, no eggs, no flour and just a tablespoon of sugar. (I used dried cherries instead of raisins, and I added chocolate chips to act as toddler bait). Kyle loves them and Kaleb gobbled them down as well, great on-the-go breakfast solution!

After nap we all headed to Cascade Park for more play, and then met up with my family for dinner to celebrate my mom at Carrabba's. It was challenging to be part of the conversation or to enjoy dinner between Kaleb's needs and Jacob needing to eat right when we got there. But, I'm glad we were able to celebrate with my mom! After dinner it was home for bedtime routine and then the plan was to have quiet time watching the new Game of Thrones...but I was asleep on the couch with Jacob by 8:30 and I only woke up long enough to move he and I to my bed.

It was a great Mother's Day and I am very blessed to have two healthy and amazing little boys and a thoughtful husband who makes sure my special days are truly special. Now that I've captured the "what did we do" stuff, let me spend a few minutes on a couple things that made this  more than just a day filled with activities and gifts.

In the car on the way home from Riverside Park, Kaleb said to me from the back seat "Know what, Mommy? I didn't get my kisses yet today!" For the record, he had received multiple kisses and hugs by this point in the day. What made this special is that this is what I say to him all the time and I loved hearing it repeated back. I am proud to have a family where kisses and hugs are the standard, and my son knows they will happen all day, every day.

Jacob has really ramped up the smiling and cooing, and I still can't believe how blessed I am to have another healthy, handsome, happy little boy in my life! He is so BIG! At 5 weeks he is already in size 3m clothes, and they aren't exactly loose or anything. In fact, yesterday Jacob wore the same onesie that Kaleb had worn on his first Mother's Day. But when Kaleb wore it he was 5 months old, Jacob is fitting into it at 5 weeks! He is for sure my solid little tank of a man, I can't wait for his next check up to see what he weighs.

Before Kaleb's bedtime last night I asked Kyle to get a picture of me and the boys. I sat in the glider in the nursery with Jacob and Kaleb climbed onto my lap. Jacob was screaming and fussing his way through some gas pain, and Kaleb was not at all in the mood to cooperate, and I was sporting that "exhausted and at the end of my long day" look. Needless to say, the pictures turned out horribly if the intention was to frame them, or even share them publicly. However, the reality they capture is a perfect snapshot of my life as a mother right now, hectic and tired and busy and with a lap full of love and a smile on my face through it all. When I look at those pictures in the years to come I am going to remember how full my heart was at that moment.

I didn't just have a Happy Mother's Day, I had a day filled with love and laughter with my beautiful little family. I am so very blessed!

Plenty of love, but desperately in need of more "me"!

We knew that Kaleb would have an adjustment period to work through with the addition of Jacob to our family. That was about the extent of our ability to prepare for it though, just knowing it was coming. We couldn't really know what form "it" would take so I just made sure I regularly reminded myself and Kyle that we were going to see some sort of coping from our 2 year old, and it most likely wasn't going to be fun for any of us.

I had also anticipated that there would be some emotions that I'd need to work through over adding a new person to our cozy little unit of 3. I had no idea just how intense and challenging that was going to be for me. I'm finally now, 5 weeks later, starting to find some peace and even a little balance about it all.


I was not at all prepared for the intensity of my reaction to feeling like I was somehow betraying Kaleb by adding a new person to our family. It was *really* hard for me. With having a c-section, I wasn't able to pick Kaleb up or carry him or have him sit on my lap or play with me for that first week. I was pretty much out of commission, short of breast feeding Jacob, for that first week so Kyle was doing everything. This was great for Kyle and Kaleb to really bond and spend some good time together during that first week where Kyle was off work. But I struggled with the fact that I couldn't help, couldn't do Kaleb's bed time, and all the other things that used to be "Mommy things".

Even now, healed completely and back to full capacity, there are times I have to take care of Jacob when Kaleb needs me, and times I need to take care of Kaleb when Jacob needs me. I've been told "this is good for Kaleb, it teaches him patience" and "this is good for Jacob, he doesn't know any better anyway and this will make him a more laid back kid". Okay, I can agree with both of those things, but I still end most days feeling like I've let each of my boys down . I suppose the crux of the issue for me is that I feel like there just isn't enough of me right now, with both boys being at such demanding ages. I have no issue with having plenty of love for both boys, but the reality is there is only so much time and I can't be in more than one place at the same time.This is my struggle with the transition to being a mother of 2, feeling like I just can't possibly give enough of "me" to both of them.

For Kaleb, his transition has been bumpy as well, but like I said, we completely expected that to happen. He has started waking up throughout the night, calling out for me. He had a week of really tough day care drop offs last week. Bedtime became a major battle. We have also started having issues with him throwing toys, both at home and at day care.  He has really started to push his boundaries, and I've had to institute some time outs here at home a few times.

We seem to be making some head way on the day care drop offs and the bed times. I wake up early now with Kaleb to give him plenty of transition time in the mornings, we have Cheerios together, then get dressed, then watch a cartoon and he eats a breakfast cookie. I'm also working to firm up the bed time routine again. Understandably, and to be expected, the first few weeks of Jacob being here, the bed time routine (and every other routine) got pretty lax. Now I try to have Kyle feed Jacob a bottle while I put Kaleb to bed (a great example of not enough "me", Jacob wants to eat at the same time Kaleb needs to go to bed). And I'm firm with Kaleb about "3 stories, 3 songs, 3 kisses and good night". He is still waking up some nights, but we are making progress.

And, lest anyone wonder "why can't Kyle do that stuff?", he can and he does! I am the first to admit that all of this pressure I'm feeling is coming solely from me...and a demanding "I only want my Mommy" set of brothers...but Kyle is right there in the trenches with me, rocking newborns, reading stories to toddlers, responding to middle of the night wake ups, and listening to Mommy melt-down moments in which I'm crying and saying that I just can't do this. In fact, if I didn't have Kyle by my side in this I would have thrown in the towel weeks ago!

I knew things would change, I knew there would be adjustments. I was prepared for Kaleb's but was very surprised by the intensity of my own emotions surrounding all of this. Now that Jacob is here, I need to redefine what it means to me to be Mom to both of these boys. What I expected of myself as Mom to Kaleb just isn't sustainable now that there are two little boys who need me. It is time to evolve into my new role, which is exactly the kind of challenge that I love most :)

Three weeks and thriving!

Three weeks today! At his two week checkup, Jacob tipped the scales at 9 lbs 10 oz, was 22.5 inches long, and received a "gold star for growth" :) I can't remember if I posted his birth weight, but he was 9 lbs 4 oz at birth, 22 inches long, and then 8 lbs 11 oz when we left the hospital. For a breastfed baby it is ideal for them to come close to regaining their birth weight by the two week checkup. Jacob knocked it out of the park! So, we know that breast feeding is going really well, he is such a champ at eating...yes, I'm proud :)

Since Jacob is three weeks and since breast feeding is clearly going so well (as evidenced by his stellar weight gain), we are going to introduce a bottle tonight. I've been pumping milk once each day for the past two weeks and currently have over 75 oz of breast milk stored in the freezer! Most of the experts say three weeks is the sweet spot for introducing a bottle. Jacob is clearly well established in his breast feeding habits, so there is not much concern that he'll get a bottle and decide to abandon the breast. He is also still "new" enough that he shouldn't balk at the bottle, which is a risk faced if you wait too long to give them that first bottle. I do plan to breast feed 'as exclusively as possible' (not a fan of extreme statements like 'exclusively') for the first year, so when he takes a bottle it will be pumped breast milk he is drinking. But, this way I will be able to do crazy things like be away from him for more than 2 hours, or drink wine and still feed him. Tonight I'm celebrating the three week mark with a bottle of my own as well, some delightful Cabernet :)

At the three week mark, here is what I've observed about my second born:

*He is VOCAL!! Every movement has an accompanying grunt or snort or squeak or other sound effect. He purrs and growls and hums when he eats. If you pick him up while he is trying to sleep he will make some sort of sound of protest. And, at the very first tiny little bit of discomfort he will howl like he hasn't eaten in days. It is endearing during the waking hours of the day, and when I'm not trying to get anything else done. It is, I'll admit, quite irritating in the wee hours of the morning. It is hard to have him sleep next to me at night because he just makes noise all night long, sleeping or awake, he is sounding off about something. I am excited to see if, and how, this tendency manifests as he grows!

*He is ADORABLE! I was worried, I'll admit, that Jacob could never possibly be as cute as Kaleb was. Fortunately, my worry was in vain. He has his very own brand of cute, different from Kaleb's version but just as intense. Jacob is adorable in an expressive, animated, engaging kind of way. Not only is he vocal, he is expressive. Everything is a production for him, from growling and doing the "woodpecker head" when he is hungry and looking for food, to straining and grimacing in his sleep as he tries to shift to a more comfy position. The world is a stage when it comes to my sweet baby boy. Again, I look forward to watching how this plays out over the coming years :)

As the days go by I am feeling good about our decision to have Kaleb continue attending day care during my leave. When we are all home at night there just isn't the time to focus completely on memorizing each and every one of Jacob's facial expressions. And I want to be able to do that with him just like I did when Kaleb was a newborn. I'm happy to have this gift of exclusive bonding time with Jacob. As the weeks go on, I intend to keep Kaleb home for more days, and to pick him up early on some days. But for these first few weeks, I love the special time that I get to spend bonding with my newborn.

I have so much to share about how I'm adjusting to having two kids, but the time to post hasn't presented itself and tonight I wanted to capture all this stuff about just Jacob.

Happy three weeks to Jacob and to our family of four...I don't know if I'll ever get sick of how cool that sounds!

My Birth Story with Jacob

Yesterday was Jacob's actual due date, he is 12 days old today :) I have already posted about our decision to have a repeat c-section, and that was scheduled for last Monday, April 9. Jacob decided to join us on Thursday, April 5 instead. Here's the story of how he made his big entrance:

On Wednesday (4/4) I woke up feeling off, got in the shower and had to stop the shower early because I was feeling nauseous. I planned to rest on the couch, and then go into work a little late, thinking it was just being tired from pregnancy. Then Kaleb woke up and was clearly sick. So, my plan changed to just working from home with Kaleb. We got through the day but it was rough, all I wanted to do was rest.

As far as the pregnancy was going, I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks, and I was experiencing a lot of aches in my lower abdomen, just tired and tender and really done with carrying Jacob around!

I went to bed Wednesday night and then at 2:00 AM I woke up in the middle of a contraction. I turned over and figured it was just a particularly strong Braxton Hicks, but about 10 minutes later I got hit by another one. I stayed in bed until 2:30 and then got up. The contractions got closer together rather quickly. By 3 I was pretty sure these were real contractions so I downloaded an app on my phone to track them and by 4 had determined a pattern of about a minute long and averaging 6 minutes apart.

At this point I was pretty well convinced I was in labor, so I took a shower, folded some laundry, and paced around the house. The contractions weren't slowing down at all, instead they were getting more intense and closer together. At 5 I decided I should probably wake Kyle up, so he wouldn't feel rushed if we decided to go in to the hospital. I woke him up, told him I'd been awake since 2 with contractions and that they were getting closer together and more intense. I called my doctor's office and left a message for the on call OB that I was contracting about 5 minutes apart at this point. She called back pretty quickly and confirmed that we should be heading to the hospital.

We called the Remsburgs at 6, I packed a bag for Kaleb, and Kyle took Kaleb over there at 6:30 then came back to get me and we went up to St. Mary's. They put me in a triage room and hooked me up to all the monitors. The first step was to give me a bunch of fluids, since dehydration can sometimes bring on false labor pain. The nurse checked me and I had dilated to 1 cm before we arrived. After two hours, two bags of fluids through the IV, and many more contractions, the nurse checked me again and I was dilated to 3. This was as of 9:30 AM and they made the decision at this point to keep me there and put me in the line up for a c-section that day. WOW! We weren't expecting this and it was really really exciting!

During those couple hours of taking in fluids and not knowing if they were going to keep us or send us home it was tough. I would have felt really embarrassed if it wasn't real labor and was just dehydration and we got sent home. I really wanted to stay..but I was also really hungry! I had eaten a light dinner the night before because I wasn't feeling well. When I woke up suspecting I was in labor, I didn't eat anything because I'd been told I had to fast for 8 hours before the c-section. So, our joke during those hours of waiting was that I would either get a baby or get breakfast and at that point, I wasn't sure which sounded better! However, I was quite relieved and very excited, and forgot all about breakfast, when the nurse confirmed that we got to have our baby that day!

Then we had to wait. and wait. and wait some more. That same day there was already one scheduled c-section and I was then 1 of 3 more women who had shown up that morning in labor and with c-sections scheduled for later in the week. It was a busy day for the hospital staff that day! There was a full moon the night before, and we talked with the nurse about how full moons did tend to result in busier hospitals. A nurse brought Kyle his scrubs at 10:00 and said the OB was starting another c-section right then and that I was next. And then we waited some more.

The contractions got worse and worse, and by about noon I was starting to lose patience and was really just wanting to get this show on the road. As it turns out, the OB was ready to go but the anesthesiologist had been called to another part of the hospital to handle something else, so we were waiting on him to come back before it was my turn. Finally, at 2:00 they came to get us and I walked to the operating room, got my spinal block, got prepped for the surgery, and then they let Kyle come into the room. The spinal block worked beautifully, I couldn't feel anything at all. (a significant improvement over my first c-section, where I could feel everything since the epidural wasn't working on my right side) Kyle did an excellent job keeping me distracted and holding my hand and just being that rock solid presence he always is.

At 2:36 PM on April 5 I got to hear Jacob cry for the very first time, and wow what a cry it was! I said many times during my pregnancy that I had a feeling Jacob was going to be much more demanding than Kaleb was as a baby, that he wouldn't hesitate to make his needs known and to share his displeasure at anything he didn't like...that cry was my first confirmation. So persistent! And for the first couple days he had this squeak sound he would make while crying, it was quite cute :)

After the docs had me all put back together, I was wheeled into the recovery room and they gave me Jacob to try and nurse. He latched on like a little champ and fed like he was a 3 month old, not a newborn. It was such a great moment!

One thing I struggled with in deciding to have a repeat c-section was that I wouldn't have that "honey, it's time" moment of going into labor on my own. I didn't really get that with Kaleb either, since we had the induction scheduled and I didn't start having contractions until a couple hours before that appointment. Jacob came 4 days before the scheduled c-section, and so I got to have that experience of contractions in the middle of the night, and then waking my husband up to tell him our baby was coming. I am really thankful to have had that experience in my life, one of those moments you dream about and that has now come true for me. And, I managed to "get to" labor for 12 hours even with the scheduled c-section, thanks Jacob! ;)

And now we are a family of four, and I'll post more in the coming days on how that transition has been going :)

One more week!!!

In one week from now I am going to be holding my newborn son (see previous post). That has been playing through my head all day today, I just can't believe it is so close!

I've got some warring emotions going on around the idea of bringing this baby home and forever altering the perfect little world we have with Mommy, Daddy, and Kaleb. I find myself getting sad thinking about how this is the last week where it will be just the three of us together. How, very very soon, Kaleb is going to have to share his Mommy and Daddy. I'm not sitting here wringing my hands over it or anything, but just surfing some pretty crazy emotional and hormonal surges here. I keep telling myself that he is getting a new brother, that this beautiful world we have created as a family of three is just going to get bigger, better, and more amazing with the addition of another member. But I for sure am having weepy moments over all these "lasts" that will be happening this week. I think it is okay to be somewhat sad to have this stage of our family's life coming to an end. Just as much as it is okay to be really excited and happy for the next chapter to begin.

On the exciting front, the nursery is done! It is baby jungle theme and I absolutely love it. I got my green for the walls like I have wanted for so long, and it looks really good with the decor I picked out. All of Jacob's clothes (new things from the girls at work and Kaleb's hand-me-downs) are washed, folded, and organized into his dresser/changing table. I had saved the newborn and size 1 diapers that Kaleb grew out of before he could wear them, they are all set up in the diaper caddy thing that came with the room accessories. It feels great to have that room all set up and situated and to the "Just Add Baby" stage :)

Kaleb also had his room completely redone this weekend. He has a twin size bed now, it looks so big in there! And he looks so small! A friend asked if I was having a hard time with Kaleb not having a baby room anymore, with all the big boy stuff he has, and I think it would be a lot tougher if we weren't also creating a new nursery at the same time. There is nothing 'baby' about his room now, he has his big boy bed and new furniture, including a night stand with a lamp he can turn on and off himself. We also got a toy and book storage shelf thing so all his toys are rounded up and in his room now, super nice for our living room! We decorated his room with a transportation theme, including Thomas. He has Thomas the Tank sheets and I bought a wall decal kit so all his favorite engines are on the wall by his bed. The rest of the room has trucks, planes, construction equipment, and all other things that go. I am hoping to make him a little reading nook in there next to his book shelf, and still also have an entire blank wall to decorate. Currently I'm thinking a big map on the wall, colorful and educational and fun :)

It is so crazy that this is the last week of being a family of three. I can't wait for the next phase of our family to get kicked off. At the same time, I am soaking up every single moment of this week, and embracing my sentimental emotions over it being the end of an era.

2 weeks left!

I'm sad I haven't posted in over a month, what a busy month it has been! So full of fun and work and family...all the kinds of things I started this blog to capture, but when they are all going on at the same time it gets harder and harder to take the time to capture it. Eh, if that's my biggest complaint then I should probably stop the sniveling :)

I've been wanting to post about Jacob's birthday for many weeks now. In fact, this may be the first time I've posted since we finalized his name. Jacob Michael Remsburg. Love it! Yes, the name Jacob is high up on the popularity index these days, but I've loved the name since way before that and there just seriously were no other names that stood a chance. I also had Isaac and Micah on my list, but Kyle was not a fan of either. I love the name, and have been using it when I talk to and about him for many weeks now. And in just 2 weeks and 1 day we will be meeting this little guy!

I shared a while back that I would need to make a decision about electing to have a repeat c-section or trying labor again. I did my extensive reading of all things internet, from Dr. Sears to CDC to mommy-boards and then went to my consult with the OB with my questions. My doctor has been amazing, he gave me the information I asked for and helped me understand the risks of either decision. My decision was to go with a repeat c-section. If I try labor again there is a chance, albeit relatively small, that the previous c-section scar on my uterus could rupture. If that were to happen it could lead to irreversible brain damage for Jacob (again, small chance). I know myself, and if I went for a trial of labor I would be terrified the entire time of that small chance of rupture, and when it came time to push I would be even more worried. I am not one who needs the empowering experience of vaginal birth to feel complete as a woman.

So, with my doctor and my husband on board, I opted for a repeat c-section. The risks involved there are the same as any c-section, including longer recovery with chance for infection. Also with each repeat c-section the scar tissue becomes less...forgetting the term...basically, in a future pregnancy if the placenta were to implant over the scar it would be harder to "take" and there is an increased chance of miscarriage. But that is only if the placenta implants over the scar, and if it were to do that it would also be implanting near or over the cervix, which can also lead to complications. I'm not yet certain we'll be trying for more after Jacob and since I was already for sure pregnant with this one, I made my choice based on my current pregnancy.

And so, Jacob's birthday has been set for Monday, April 9. I will be at 39 weeks, Jacob will be full term but that week early is intended to hopefully have him delivered before my body goes into labor. The surgery is scheduled at 11:30 AM and we are to report to the hospital at 9:30 that morning for all the prep. It has been really nice having a set date, as far as maternity leave planning goes. I know there is the still the chance he could have other plans and I could still go into labor between now and then. But, we are all hoping that everything goes smoothly and our son celebrates his birthday on April 9 every year :)

Prep on Sunday, Eat All Week - First week was a success!

I just wrapped up our first official week of "prep on Sunday" menu planning and family dinner nights. I'm happy to say it was a success!

I planned my menu on Friday during nap and then made the grocery list Saturday.
I was super tired Saturday due to very little sleep Friday night, so I postponed grocery shopping to Sunday morning. Got home from shopping on Sunday, had some lunch, and then set to work prepping.

Here's what the menu looked like:

Sunday - out with friends
Monday - Parmesan-Ranch Chicken, roasted garlic red potatoes, green beans (YUM!! Will for SURE make this again. and again)
Tuesday - Tuscan Beef Stew with biscuits (good, simple, will make this again)
Wednesday - Healthy Mama BBQ Chicken with rice (meh, bland. Nothing inherently wrong or gross, but we won't make it again)
Thursday - leftovers/takeout
Friday - Meatloaf, garlic bread, green beans
Saturday - family birthday party with dinner there

For my Sunday prep session, I labeled 3 gallon size ziplocs, one for each of the first 3 recipes.

I did the Parmesan-Ranch Chicken prep first. I took the chicken out of the freezer put it in its labeled ziploc to defrost in the fridge. In a small tupperware, I combined all ingredients for the breading for the chicken and set that aside on the counter where I would need it the next night. I then set a reminder in my phone (thank you, Siri!) for Sunday night to pour the ranch dressing marinade into the chicken bag once the chicken was defrosted.

Next I turned my attention to the BBQ Chicken and the Beef Stew, my crockpot meals for the week. I put the stew meat into the Beef Stew ziploc. I then scrubbed and chopped the red potatoes for the BBQ Chicken, setting some aside to be roasted as a side for Monday night's dinner. Next I chopped all veggies and put them in the appropriate bags, either BBQ Chicken or Beef Stew. Once the veggies were in, I added all the sauces, stock, and seasonings. Then sealed the ziplocs and set them in the fridge. I set another reminder on my phone for Tuesday night to take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost for the BBQ Chicken. I didn't want to defrost it early in case we ended up not being able to make the chicken Wed. night as planned.

3 dinners chopped, sauced, prepped, and packaged within 40 minutes. I have to say I was impressed with myself when this was done.

The week stayed true to the menu, and the time between getting home from work and sitting down to dinner was really smooth!

On Monday night I turned on the oven as soon as I got home to pre-heat. I purposely picked a recipe that needed less than 30 minutes bake time. This meant I had 20 minutes to hang out with Kaleb before needing to get the chicken in the oven. When it was time to put dinner in, I just had to dump the breading on a plate, pull the chicken from the fridge and dredge it, then pop in the oven. I then dumped the red potatoes from their ziploc into a roasting pan, drizzled with EVOO and sprinkled with garlic powder and parm, these went in the oven with the chicken. This 'prep' took me less than 5 minutes, that was completely manageable! I heated the green beans when Kyle got home. This dinner was a for sure win and is absolutely in our regular rotation now!

Tuesday night, I got a call from day care at 5 that Kaleb had a fever and was saying his tummy hurt. He was clingy and whiny when we got home and we got him into bed early and scrapped the family dinner thing. Kyle and I did enjoy the beef stew and it was really nice having dinner just in the crockpot ready to go. I was able to freeze half the leftovers, which will be really nice for a night I need something quick but don't want to do takeout!

Wednesday Kaleb was tantrumy and clingy and I was super prego-tired. We still did family dinner, but weren't all that impressed with the recipe. All considered, it was still nice to have dinner be easy enough/prepped enough that we could still do family dinner even when I was completely exhausted.

Thursday we did delivery pizza, because someone at work that day had done a pizza day and when I'm pregnant, once I smell/hear about/see someone else eating something then I can't forget about it and I must have it.

Friday is my new flex day, which means I have time at home to make a recipe that doesn't lend well to being prepped on Sunday. This week I did meatloaf, one of Kyle's favs. I like having this day to experiment with new recipes that maybe take a little more fuss.

Tonight is my niece's birthday party so we are having dinner over there.

My menu for next week is planned, the grocery list is ready for shopping tomorrow morning, and I'm looking forward to the sense of accomplishment I'll feel tomorrow afternoon when my week's worth of family dinners are prepped and ready to go!

At this stage in the game I feel like it is a tad early to be sharing my menu planning winning strategies, what with this being only my second week :) But, after another week or two under my belt, I'll be sure to share how the logistics are all working out!

Family Dinner: Lessons Learned During Week 1

Last week was the first week of my "Family Dinner Every Night" commitment and I'm happy to say I made it happen :) It was really awesome to sit around the table as a family, all of us eating the same dinner at the same time together! For last week I just stuck with easy dinners that I knew wouldn't require much prep. I think I had committed to 2 or 3 nights, since I hadn't grocery shopped for a ton. My menu plan going into last week was primarily planned around what we already had in the house.

Here is what our menu ended up being:

Mon: White chili with biscuits (I cooked the chicken in the crockpot with a jar of salsa during the day then just dumped the rest of the ingredients in when I got home from work)
Tues: Manicotti with garlic bread and salad (when I made manicotti a few weeks ago I made a double batch and froze half, so I defrosted over night then baked when I got home from work)
Wed: we had a visitation for a friend's mother that night, so it was leftovers
Thurs: Frozen chicken strips with rice and green beans (I got stuck late at work)
Fri: Frozen pizza (I had planned beef stroganoff, since I'm home on Fridays now and can do more involved dinners. I was going to shop for ingredients after Kaleb's nap that day, but his nap ran until 4:30 and the roads were getting nasty)

So, while I nailed the "eat together every night" part, I have plenty of room to grow on the menu planning and weekly prep areas.

The main challenge I faced was trying to balance getting dinner prepped, cooked, and on the table while also managing a toddler who wanted and deserved my undivided attention. I did choose dinners requiring minimal prep, but that prep needed to be done right when we got home so dinner could finish cooking in time for 6:30 serving. I already have a standing expectation of myself as a mother to provide my children with undivided access to my attention during the first 10 minutes (minimum) that we are home and together again after a long day of being separated at work and day care. The deserve this time and I am not willing to make any lenience on this so my menu planning will need to work around and with it. Lesson learned here, do as much prep the weekend before as possible and plan meals that don't need my attention the minute I walk in the door from work.

Another challenge that I still need to think more about was the fact that Kaleb wants to eat right when we get home. His new day care does snack at 3:00, so he's hungry again when we get home. A hungry toddler equates to a child with zero patience and even less tolerance for frustrations. I don't want him hungry, but I also don't want him having these huge snacks and then not eating dinner. I don't for sure know the best way to overcome this. For the coming week I am going to make sure I have a healthy snack packed for him to eat in the car on the way home from day care. This will give about an hour and a half between the car snack and dinner, which should be enough time for a growing boy to get hungry again.

A third challenge I ran into: getting caught up at work at least one night last week past my regular end time. This is going to happen, so my menu planning needs to take this into account. Lesson learned here: take my weekly work calendar into account when planning the menu. If I am scheduled for late afternoon meetings and/or training sessions then I need to have dinners that don't need bake times aka crockpot stuff.

The final challenge was simply not having planned the menu and then gone grocery shopping. Last week I worked in reverse, having already shopped before I decided to commit to the family dinner plan. I don't know that I can call this a "lesson learned" since I already could have told you it makes much more sense to menu plan before grocery shopping.

It was really rewarding to have my family sit down to a nutritional (most nights) homemade dinner each night! I was pleasantly surprised to see Kaleb sampling everything each night. I was nervous that I'd find out this past week that I had already created the monster and it was too late now for him to adapt to family dinners where he eats what is served and doesn't get to demand other things.

I'm going to start a separate post to share my plans for this week.

**I just went and read last week's post, looks like I hadn't actually committed to starting the family dinners until this coming week. So, I'll give myself a pat on the back for implementing a week early and cut myself a little more slack on last week's menu :)

2012 Goal: Family dinners

Right now, I see to it that my family eats dinner every night, and that the dinner they eat it is nutritional (with a little leniency every now and again on that front). The only issue is, we don't eat all at the same time. Kaleb eats his dinner at 6:30, while I sit with him and talk to him. Then Kyle and I eat our dinner after Kaleb is in bed. Timing-wise this has just been easier. When I get home from work I'm able to just be with Kaleb and not be focused on prepping a dinner for all of us to eat. Also, we just kind of evolved into this routine since Kaleb as an infant and young toddler was on a totally different schedule than we were for eating. However, my goal of this year is to figure out how to make eating dinner as a family every night a reality.

Kaleb is 2 now, and his schedule is predictable and can be easily aligned with ours. He is also more capable of entertaining himself while I prep and cook a meal. I have the mom-thing a little more under control now than I did when Kaleb was in his first year. I am also starting a new schedule at work, where I will be out of the office by 4:45 at the latest every day, which means I'm home by 5:15 or 5:30 reliably. If I aim to have dinner on the table by 6:30 each night that gives me an hour from start to table. With some forethought as to menu, and maybe even a couple hours during Sunday nap time spent chopping veggies and prepping sauces, I think this is a reasonable and doable undertaking. I know working moms across the country pull it off, and there is no reason I can't as well.

I'm giving myself this week to lay out my menus and my shopping plans. I will do my main shopping trip next weekend, and then that following week I am committing to at least 2 nights of family dinner at 6:30. I already have a decent rotation of crock pot dinners, and a nice collection of go-to quick dinners. And with the combination of an internet full of recipes, and a group of other moms I know who do family dinners, I'm going to be able to pull this off.

I am hoping that, by starting now, I'll have myself on a routine well before the baby comes (only 9 more weeks!!!). I expect some slacking on the family dinner qualities during those first few weeks (pizza, takeout, etc) but will also maybe have discovered some great freezer dinners I can prep during that week I'm on maternity leave before he arrives. Then it will be summer and we'll be into the always-easier cooking season of grilling almost all our dinners.

It is important to me that my boys grow up in a home with family dinners every night. I am excited to see how far I've come on this goal by this time next year!

My Village

We've all heard about it taking a village to raise a child, and I know there is talk amongst many that we don't have a "village" mentality anymore. Tonight I'm thinking about the fact that I DO have a village helping me to raise my son. This post will celebrate that network of support.

First, the back story:

Yesterday we got a call that Kaleb's day care was closing and we could come in today from 3-6 to collect his belongings. That was the extent of our forewarning, over 40 children displaced as well as an entire staff of talented, dedicated, caring teachers. No opportunity for teachers to say good bye to kids they have been building relationships with for months and years, no opportunity for kids to say good bye to buddies they have been in care with since they were infants. It was a devastating shock to the families as well as to the teachers, and left parents scrambling for care while teachers sought to replace employment. I could fill an entire post with just my rantings over the unprofessional conduct of the owner, but my thoughts are taking a different slant tonight.

Kyle had already booked his flight to Mississippi for work, what is to be his final week of travel before we move to our new day care and he takes over morning drop-off. So, this week of needing to find care for Kaleb while still trying to meet my commitments at work was on me. Frank and Annette are visiting Kari, JB, and Avery for an extended stay so they can benefit from bonding with Avery. On a side note: what an awesome opportunity for both them and Avery! I love the bond they have with Kaleb and am happy they get to build the same thing with his cousin :)

As I began to piece together my care schedule for the week, I realized just how extensive my support network really is.

First, my family. Kaleb was able to spend some quality time with Grandpa Bashlor this morning, since my dad works 2nd shift and he instantly volunteered to take Kaleb when I called. My sister, Laura, also offered to help me take care of Kaleb, before I could even ask. She got excited and said she was happy for the chance for Kaleb and his cousins to spend time playing together this week. My mom offered to take time off work, and is going to spend Wednesday afternoon with Kaleb. My sister, Kerry, texted me when she saw the news on Facebook and volunteered to watch Kaleb on her only day off of work this week, without my even asking. My sister, Allison, saw the news and sent me a text offering to help with care. I'm so touched by the outpouring of support, without my even having to ask, from my family. They all have busy lives and yet every one of them was willing to drop and/or rearrange their plans to help us out.

Next, Kaleb's amazing teachers over the years at Kid's World. The owner is the one to blame in all this, the teachers are victims just as much as the parents. Kaleb has had many great influences in his life through those teachers. Specifically, Miss Angie, Miss Elizabeth, and Miss Megan. Miss Angie was Kaleb's teacher when he was just an infant, and he bonded with her so strongly. She was wonderful to him, helped him grow so much, and took an active role in keeping me involved in his daily development. Her role in his daily growth, and the open and caring way she shared his progress with me every day did wonders for my confidence as a working mother! Miss Elizabeth spent a lot of time with Kaleb when he was 1, he loved her so much and called her Miss Bissie. She was a great influence on him as he built the foundation of knowledge and skill he would need as a toddler. I looked forward to her supportive and encouraging reports on his progress every day! Finally, Miss Megan, Kaleb's most recent teacher. I don't know how to put into words the impact Miss Megan has had in his life, and mine. She was positive and patient with Kaleb as he entered the toddler years. Even on his hardest, most challenging days, Miss Megan always had something positive to share. She was the epitome of Positive Discipline and I learned a LOT from watching the way she interacted with my 2 year old! There were many other good teachers in Kaleb's life, but these three will always stand out, and for sure were an integral part of my village.

Then, my friends. The people in my life who have lent encouragement and support, not just in this situation, but over the past years while I struggled through figuring out what it means to be a working mother. I have had conversations, laughs, tears, hugs, and high fives from all over the place over these years and I'm so thankful for the support I find in the people I am lucky to call my friends.

I also consider my employer as a part of my village. I work for a company with a firm base of valuing family and work/life balance. I have flexibility in my schedule, so much so that the stress of needing to juggle a week of no day care, no spouse, and a full week of work wasn't so much stress as it was a need to consider "How can I best juggle work and home?" I know I am blessed to be in this position, to work for a boss who values my contributions and who understands that there is life outside of work. The first person I talked to when I arrived to work this morning was my boss, and the first thing out of her mouth was "How are you coping?" not "How are you going to make sure you don't miss any work". I have the privilege of reporting to an understanding and empathetic person. She is a big part of why I didn't lose much sleep last night over trying to figure out how I'd make things work this week. And she is one of many members of leadership within my organization who treat people as people, not just assets. Not once yesterday did I feel an ounce of fear that I wasn't going to be able to find a scheduling solution for the week. That speaks volumes for the value of my employer as part of my village.

I bet if I sat and put more thought I would find even more evidence of my village. But for now it is time to put my little guy to bed. I will wrap by saying that my network of support came through for me and I am feeling very thankful and extremely blessed.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chaaaaanges

We turned in the two week notice to Kaleb's current day care last week, he has this week and next then he is moving to the Appletree Christian Learning Center that is 2 minutes away from our home. This afternoon we took a family tour of the new center (I had visited/toured already on my own).

I'd done my research before and know a number of families from my work who have their children enrolled in various Appletree centers and they are all happy and content. I've had a lot of communication with the assistant director and she has been helpful, kind, and great at assuring me that they know this is a transition for Kaleb and they are going to be working to help him work through it.

Seeing him today on the tour, you'd never guess he hasn't been playing in that room forever! He was buzzing all over, saying "Hi!" to the other kids, checking out the toys, and seeming pretty much okay with things. Of course, I'm sure it will be a bit different when it isn't a visit with us and it is actually spending the day there. But watching him today helped me feel better about this change.

The hardest part is saying goodbye to our favorite teacher at his current center, Miss Megan. She's amazing. Kaleb loves her, she has done great things for and with him, and she and I have developed a really solid relationship as Mom and Teacher of this wonderful little guy. I knew that talking about this move to Miss Megan was going to be the hardest part on me, I finally had a chance to catch up with her today (she's been out sick for a bit) and there were tears. I think it's a testament to the depth of the relationship that she's built with my son that she very seriously stated that we will exchange contact information and arrange for a play date so she can still see him. I'm getting emotional just typing this, I really wish there was a way to take her with us!

Not sure if I already posted about this, but Kaleb sleeps in a big boy bed now! We took the side off his crib (it is convertible) last Saturday and he has taken to sleeping in the big boy bed with zero issue so far. At night, I can barely finish the last sentence in his final bed time story before he is scrambling off my lap to go climb in his bed :) He is very proud of himself that he can climb into and out of his bed by himself.

Amazing things going on in his world, such a smart and adaptable boy. I know I say it all the time, but I really really am SO proud of him!

Finally an update

So much to update! Kaleb's 2nd birthday was wonderful. We had a party for him at Chuck E Cheese with his cousins and my family. Frank and Annette were visiting Alysa and Anders in Maine at the time, but we celebrated with them before they left. We did cake and another gift on his actual bday, I made him mini cupcakes which he loved :)

As of Kaleb's 2 year mark he was counting to 14 (he hit 10 at about 21 months), singing his ABC's as of 22 months, knows all his shapes and colors, and is reliably saying please and thank you. He speaks in full sentences and generates his own unique thoughts, which is amazing and hilarious at times. He runs, jumps, climbs, stacks, colors, and all the other major physical milestones. At his 2 year check up he was 35 inches tall and weighed 28.8 pounds. Based on this the doctor estimates he will be 6 feet tall as an adult.

Aside from the standard milestones, the developments that most impress me and warm my heart are the signs of emotional intelligence I already see blooming in Kaleb. When someone yawns he'll ask if they are sleepy and need some rest, if I cough he asks if I"m okay. He is a chocolate fanatic which makes sense given my insatiable need for brownies, which I never crave, while I was pregnant with him. I let him have mini-snickers probably once every 3ish days on average, those things are really small! But when he has his coveted treat he will take a bite, and then offer some to me. What a kind little dude!! He seems to be in tune to the well being of others around him and I am really enjoying watching that side of him develop.

Christmas was beautiful this year, our family traditions continue to be honed and developed and it makes me warm and fuzzy to think that I get to establish traditions for my own little family. We do Christmas Eve with the Bashlor side, Christmas morning is with our family, and then after nap on Christmas Day we head over to celebrate with the Remsburgs. Kari, JB, and Avery came up this year for Christmas and stayed the week after so we had plenty of fun spending time with them. I had the week between Christmas and New Year off this year and Kyle had most of it off as well, we took full advantage of all our family time together. It was a really great holiday season, with Kaleb old enough now to understand some of what is going on. Next year will be awesome, Kaleb will be old enough to anticipate the excitement and he'll have an 8 month old little brother to share it all with!

Next year I'll be adding a new tradition at home, and I'm super excited about it! I will take all of our Christmas books and wrap each one individually, then place them all in a box or bucket near the Christmas tree. Starting Dec. 1st, each night the kids will get to pull one wrapped book out, unwrap it, and that will be our Christmas bedtime story for the night. Thanks to a very generous gift of books from my parents this year, and my already somewhat overboard book habit, we already have more than enough books to do this :)