No, really, I'm good either way!

I hit the 20 week mark on Monday, which puts me half way through this pregnancy already! I want to hit the breaks, so opposite from my first pregnancy. With Kaleb I couldn't wait to get to my due date. This time around I'm feeling like time is going way too fast. Not that I'm not excited to meet this little one, but I really enjoy being pregnant. Honestly. Sure there are downsides to it, challenges and irritations with all the changes going on in my body. But I am completely in love with the little kicks and flutters going on in there, and I can't believe I'm already half way done!

I had my 5 month check up this morning and that is the one where I get the referral to schedule my ultrasound, the big one, the "find out what you are growing" one. I'm traveling for work next week, and then Kyle is traveling for work the week after that. So, I'd resigned myself, braced and prepared myself, that we were going to have to wait at least another 2 and a half weeks to get to find out. But, I got lucky and they had an opening for tomorrow!! Tomorrow morning at 10:45 we are set up for the big ultrasound. I'd done such a great job preparing to wait, it is hard now to believe that by this time tomorrow I'll be (hopefully, if baby cooperates) searching girl names or boy names.

Of course there is the big question "What do you hope?" or "Do you have any intuitive leanings?" I've given them thought and continue to come to the same conclusions. On the "hope" front, I don't have a preference this time around. I mean it. I am big enough to admit that with my first I was really hoping for a boy. I had been dreaming of a little boy and I went into the ultrasound hoping we'd hear "it's a boy!" So, that worked out really well :) This time, I'm truly happy either way. I would love to have a girl, a daughter to raise and do fun things like shop for prom dresses and/or do awesome science fair projects with that beat the pants off all the other kids in her class. Raising a daughter would be an amazing experience and I'll be thrilled to find out tomorrow that I will get to see what it is like. I would also love to have a boy. Watching Kaleb grow up with a brother, having two sons, getting to see the differences between both of my sons. All of that would be so cool. Maybe one son is the artist and musician while the other is the academic star, or perhaps an athlete? Or maybe both sons are musically inclined and someday The Remsburg Brothers give Avett a run for their money :)

On the intuitive leanings front, I've had one dream so far featuring my baby. In that dream I was holding and caring for a baby girl, and it was a very vivid dream about this baby girl. With Kaleb, I only ever dreamed about a little boy. We'll learn soon if I'm 2 for 2 on the gender prediction dreams or not.

The good news is, boy or girl will be amazing news. The other side of that is that, regardless of what we learn tomorrow, I imagine I'll have some sadness over the other. I'm really excited about either possibility, about both possibilities, but I only get one.

On another pregnancy note, when I stepped on the scale today, 20 weeks into pregnancy, half way done already, that lovely little scale reported that I've only gained 5.4 pounds so far. That was a good moment for me. Not because I have a warped view of pregnancy weight gain, but because I was so indulgent with my first pregnancy that I still have plenty of that baby weight to go around! The doctor is happy with the health, growth, and development of the baby and didn't have any concerns. I'm happy that I am doing a waaay better job being responsible this time around than last :)

There's my update for now, I'm excited to have some big news to share tomorrow!