Here we go again

I'm 4-5 days post ovulation. We were "active" for the 4 days leading up to and including ovulation. It is Friday night and since late afternoon I have been experiencing some mild cramping in my lower abdomen. This could be implantation cramping. I'm not due for my period for 9-10 more days. I'm excited and nervous and apprehensive because I could just be imagining this. I'm not imagining this, but I just don't want to get my hopes up. I want this so damn bad. I need to be patient. I need to remember that, even if there is a tiny little bean implanting in my uterus right now, it might not stick. I'm trying really hard to not let this drive me bat shit crazy right now. I think the tone of this email, the short sentences, the lack of emoticons or exclamation points, is betraying my calm exterior. I want a baby, I've wanted a baby for 17 months now. Yes I've only been trying for 2 of those months, but I've been aching for another infant for so long. I do love Kaleb so much, but I just really want to be pregnant again. I'm scared that if I do get pregnant I'm still going to get my period. This is where my head and heart are at right now. Supposed to wait until Mon or Tues to take the HPT, I don't know that I'm going to be able to hold out.