I should have known it would get to this

I did hold out, didn't take the HPT until yesterday morning. One lonely line. Had a dream last night about implantation bleeding, so real I thought it actually happened. It didn't. Took another HPT this morning, another lonely line. Next Monday is the day I should be starting a new cycle, unless I'm pregnant. The majority of info I read says implantation takes place 6-8ish day past ovulation. That's yesterday, today, tomorrow. It can take up to 3 days (or more) after implantation for the body to produce enough hormone for an HPT to pick up. So, I've got enough HPT's under the sink to take me through next Monday. Then I'll know if I should buy another sensor for the OVwatch or if I can triumphantly return it to the person I borrowed it from.

There is a good chance I'll get to travel to my company's home office, in Los Angeles, to deliver a workshop the first full week of December. When approached about making the trip the very first thing I checked was my ovulation tracking app on my phone to see if I'd be fertile at that time. That, to me, is a sign that this is starting to take over my mind. I suppose that it is inevitable. Everything I do or plan is in terms of "will I be fertile/ovulating?". Hopefully I'll be just starting to show by then, but if not, at least the trip is the week after ovulation so I won't be missing an opportunity. I'm shaking my head at myself as I type this, I'm getting out of control.

In other news, Kaleb and Kyle are doing great. Kaleb is talking like crazy, repeating things and offering his own statements. He definitely has an opinion on just about every part of his day. From what to wear to how much powder goes in his diaper (something he insists is part of every diaper change now) to whether we have ketchup or bbq sauce with dinner. It is amazing to watch his temperament coming through more and more and to see him as a separate and unique person. He is such an easy and awesome kid!