Head case

Here's a glimpse at today, and the polar opposites that my world (mother and professional) can sometimes hold for me:

5:20 AM - alarm goes off. groan. i'm tired, been up peeing all damn night long, can't take normal unisom to help me fall asleep and stay that way because of the pregnancy. stupid alarm clock. must wake up early because it is a training day and i've got be polished, shined, pressed, smiling, calm, and ready to turn my full "Welcome to the greatest company ever!" face on by 7:30.

5:24 AM - curse stupid alarm, get out of bed, pee again, make coffee, hit the shower.

5:45 AM - decide to skip packing lunch today, my own little "take THAT!" to the universe, pack healthy snacks and figure I'll buy something responsible for lunch

6:00 AM - blow dry hair, suffer hormonal heat flash, grin and bear it, curl hair, mop sweat off face, watch hair fall flat while applying makeup in attempt to hide how tired I am

6:20 AM - let dogs out, feed them, put them outside, let them back in, put them outside, then ignore them

6:30 AM - round up lunch, shoes, outfit, water, diapers for day care, sippy cup of juice, sippy cup of milk, diaper bag, cell phone, nook, purse and take all items to the car

6:35 AM - go in Kaleb's room and discover a blow out diaper that has covered him and his crib bedding. crap. literally. pull Kaleb out of poop, change him, wipe him clean, start sweating again, toss soiled pj's in laundry, feel guilty but not enough time to start laundry now so the sheets will just have to sit, remain calm and collected so Kaleb doesn't get stressed and cranky, dress Kaleb, sing songs to help mask stress, tell Kaleb it's time to go find Daddy

6:45 AM - wake up Kyle, kisses good bye, load Kaleb in the car and drive to day care, comment on every bus and truck, talk about what he will do with his friends at day care that day, mentally rehearse my messages for training

7:15 AM - drop off at day care, kiss Kaleb good bye, fill in teacher on blow out diaper, remind teacher to keep diaper rash cream on current diaper rash, kisses again and out the door

7:30 AM - arrive at work, deep breath, makeup check, lip gloss on, deep breath, and show time!

8:00 AM - training starts, happy smiles for all, so hungry but no time for breakfast until first break, keep smiling, set example for new hires

9:15 AM - first break, check phone see voicemail from 7:56 am, panic that Kaleb is sick, find out I took Kyle's key and clearly now it is too late to bring it to him, call him and say "it's a great day for a motorcycle ride!" only half joking

9:25 AM - eat oatmeal, three bites in and I'm nauseous, keep eating anyway cuz baby needs nutrition and I need food so I can take pre-natal

10:00 AM - take the stage for training, remember poop sheets on the way to the front of the room, must keep a straight face and professional demeanor, deliver training content for over an hour

11:30 AM - email from Kyle asking if I can arrange for Joe to go to the kennel while we are on vacation, ignore the email for now because there is nothing I can do about it until tomorrow at the earliest

11:48 AM - get text message from brother in law, he has our shampoo and conditioner from Kerry's salon that I ordered yesterday, where am I so he can bring it to me (he also works at Farmers) respond that I'm in training, can he leave it with the receptionist, he says sure. We've been out of our normal shampoo for a week, I keep forgetting to order more from Kerry, so my hair looks like crap!

12:00 PM - lunch. buy a cheeseburger. fail. tell friend that if I do that again she needs to call me out, vow not to skip packing lunch again. Stop at receptionist let her know someone is dropping off a package for me.

12:58 PM - remember I was supposed to call doctor during lunch, I still haven't told him I'm pregnant...it's been a week! Too late now, it will have to wait until tomorrow. Also remember poop sheets and realize I didn't check Kaleb's ears, what if there is poop in his ears?! what the hell kind of mother am I? put it aside, nothing I can do about it right now, time to train again!

2:32 PM - in front of room of new hires, delivering on-boarding welcome day, start to wonder if Kaleb is sick and that is why the blow out, need to remember to ask doctor about that when I call him tomorrow. Remember I'm pregnant, get silly smile, try to hide it, end up working the smile into my message somehow

4:33 PM - remember my shampoo and conditioner at front desk, sneak out during activity to go get it, hide it in back of room so as not to compromise professional image I spent all day trying to establish

5:00 PM - training wraps for the day, collect feedback, clean up room, leave just in time to get Kaleb from day care.

5:35 PM - arrive at day care 5 minutes late, apologize to teacher, hear Kaleb had a good day, he had "nice hands" but didn't have very good "listening ears" feel relief at no incident report, get fund raiser cookie dough order, mistakenly call the box "cookies" now Kaleb wants to open it and eat them. oops. drive home

5:40 PM - drive home with conversation as follows: Kaleb - "Daddy, home?" Me - "Yes, Daddy will be home when we get there" Kaleb - "Eddie, home?" Me - "Yes, Eddie is at his own house" Kaleb - "Brent, home?" Me - "Yes, Brent is at his own house" Kaleb - "Daddy, home" and on and on and onnnnnnn. all the way home

6:05 PM - arrive home, Kyle still isn't home, carry purse, lunch box, diaper bag, water bottle, shoes, shampoo and conditioner, 2 boxes of cookie dough, two blankies, one stuffed monkey, and a toddler into the house with spastic lower back muscles threatening to bring me to my knees

6:15 PM - set Kaleb up with banana and cottage cheese, foods he can feed himself, rush to get poop bedding, pj's, blankies, boppy cover (also got poop on it and Kaleb uses it as a pillow) and crib blanket in washing machine so there is time to wash and dry before bedtime. Entire time I'm downstairs I am envisioning Kaleb choking or falling out of his high chair. Rush back upstairs to see my sunshine boy with banana mashed happily in his fist "I did it self, Mommy!" heart melts, Kyle gets home and I ask him to help me by making sure laundry gets switched to dryer as soon as washer is done

6:35 PM - clean up mess from Kaleb's dinner, snuggle and watch Elmo's World, Kyle switches laundry, I check the clock and worry that the blankies won't dry in time for bed, we can't do bedtime without blankies, try to decide if we need to push bath time back

6:59 PM - Kyle takes Kaleb for his bath (on time), round up milk, check on bedding and discover blankies dry really fast! whew! gather stuffed monkey, put clean sheets on bed, put clean back up boppy cover on boppy pillow, rearrange bed with all necessary components, find other blanket since crib blanket is still damp, get clean sleeper laid out, put away Kaleb's laundry that has been clean and sitting on the couch for 2 days, sit down for 5 minutes to rest my back which is screaming by now

7:30 PM - cheer Kaleb on while he brushes his teeth, take him from Kyle after bath, sing bedtime song, put on diaper and wrestle to get diaper rash cream on (the rash hurts and he hates me touching it!), put on sleeper legs and sleeves and then let him zip it himself (takes three times as long but he insists) gather up blankies, paci, and stuffed monkey, snuggle in glider in nursery and read 2 bedtime stories (Clifford and Where the Wild Things Are for tonight) say bedtime prayers, drink bedtime milk, tell him I love him over and over, steal 5 more kisses, tell him I love him again, lay him in his crib, cover him with his blanket and leave the room.

8:15 PM - figure out with Kyle what we want for dinner, start this blog post and tell him I'll make it in just a minute

8:35 PM - still posting, Kyle gets sick of waiting and is now in kitchen making dinner...I'm not complaining!

Long post, but it definitely captures a typical day in my life. I can't even imagine having another kid in the mix!