Not just an accessory anymore!

Kaleb is growing up so fast, and I feel like we are in somewhat of a transitional period right now. I guess all of toddlerhood, and life for that matter, is technically a transitional period. Anyway, lately I've been regularly struck by the realization that Kaleb is a person. I mean, I get that he is a human and all that, but he is an actual individual person who processes information and thoughts and has opinions on things, including me.

He copies me, or wants to copy me, on almost everything I do. His big thing right now is "I do it!" for everything from getting dressed to assembling his meals. Maybe I'm the one in the transitional period, because those flashes where I see him as a "kid" and not my "baby" anymore, those moments leave me somewhat breathless and kinda freaked out. When he was a newborn, infant, and baby, he needed me for everything and he was honestly more of an accessory, toy, and responsibility than anything else, an extension of myself. Lately I've been seeing him as a separate entity, and that is both fascinating and terrifying. In the book I'm reading (The Emotional Life of the Toddler by A. Lieberman) there is the following text on the idea of babies becoming toddlers:

As babies become toddlers and begin to assert their need to build an autonomous sphere of action, parents learn to face their own limitations in nurturing and protecting their child. The fantasy that the parent's physical and emotional presence is enough to keep the child safe and content gives way to the realization that there are disappointments, challenges, and even dangers that we are helpless to wish away Yes. Indeed. This is perfect summation of what I'm feeling right now.

He talks so much now, it is really amazing. This morning I heard him in his crib, practicing his talking. He was trying to ultimately say "I, Kaleb, have an owie" (he doesn't actually have one but he is fascinated by owie's on his body or anyone else's right now). His attempts came out as "Keebie owie" and "I have, Keebie, owie, have" and all different variations. When he finally got it down, he then proceeded to yell it, not in anger or pain, you could hear the pride and excitement in his voice that he got that sentence down. It made me stop and wonder what his thoughts sound like in his own head, just how advanced is his internal monologue at this point?

I've renewed my resolve to let him, and encourage him, to experiment with more tasks on his own. Last night he made his own dinner, mini pizza on whole wheat bagels with sauce (I bought the squeeze kind so he can do it himself), chopped bell peppers, and shredded cheese. I got the stuff out, pulled chair up to the counter for him, then guided him through the steps, but he did it all by himself. He was SO excited about those pizzas!

Kaleb is the most fascinating, exciting, and amazing part of my life right now by far. I am so blessed to get to watch this awesome little guy grow up!